Tremulous Forum
Media => Other Tremulous Media => Topic started by: {H}Kael_Thas on May 09, 2009, 01:02:59 am
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Where am I? He could remember nothing. Nothing of his past, his present, his future. Not even his own name. What happened to me? Indeed, what had happened? He struggled to remember something, anything. Then he did. His name. Private Terry Laurence Oda.
Private Oda sat straight up in a bed. He was sweating, fists clenched, feeling nauseous. He took a look around at his surroundings, and found out that he was in a hospital room. At least, that's what it looked like. A hospital room. What other building has square rooms with white wallpaper, one single bed, a drawer full of medicine, an unused IV, and a patient wearing a white gown?
“We thought we lost you,” said a familiar voice. Oda turned to the direction of the voice. It was Captain Kelly. At the sight of a familiar face, the Private smiled. Then, remembering the past events, the smile disappeared.
“I guess you're wondering is going on,” said the Captain, scratching his head. Oda nodded. Kelly was silent for a while, thinking, and finally explained.
“When your back was turned, something crept up behind you. So quietly that we didn't hear it coming. First Lieutenant Takahashi, with his sharp eyes, spotted something moving in the shadows. You probably heard him scream a warning, but it was too late. The thing was already in position to pounce, and it did. The Lieutenant took a dive towards you and tackled you out of the way of the....thing. Our team tried to gun it down, but it pounced away, almost taking Sergeant Dent's head with it. We managed to capture one shot of it on film.” From his pocket, he took out a piece of film paper. He showed it to Oda.
It looked like a spider. A big spider. A big spider with giant teeth and long, sharp, legs that stood upright. Could this be where the orange leg had come from? No, the legs in this picture were huge, like shields, and were black. Spots of red appeared behind the legs, close to the body section, and above its head was a big white patch. Horns protruded from either side of its forehead.
Still analyzing the picture, Private Oda didn't notice someone of importance come in. The Captain immediately stood up and saluted, standing deathly still. The man walked right up behind the Private and tapped him on the shoulder. Startled, Oda dropped the picture and whipped around, staring up into the man's eyes.
“Private Oda,” said Captain Kelly, “This is Brigadier General Nehemiah Luxor Haynesworth, General of the Third Regiment of the Army of Great Britain, First Class, Captain Detective for the Scotland Yard, decorated with the Medal of Honor.” The man extended a hand for shaking.
Private Oda had no idea what Captain Kelly just said, but obviously this was a person of great importance. He stood up, saluted, and shook the Brigadier General's hand. He eyed the Medal of Honor that was placed above his heart. He was wrong. This was not a man of great importance. This was a man of great, great importance. "I just have one question," he asked. "What's the Scotland Yard?"
Haynesworth smiled. "The Scotland Yard is a British Police Force founded in the 17th century. It's main mission was to reinforce the law within Old Greater London, now New London. This force was disassembled in 2130, prior to the Great World War, often called World War III. After the war, a surviving General created the Scotland Yard again with the hopes of it becoming a universal police force. And it has become one. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it before, as since it created the outposts on the planet Karith, and the intergalactic spaceship Tremor."
Now, Oda knew what the Brigadier General was talking about. He had been to both outposts before, during his training. He looked at the Medal of Honor again, and this time noticed something. This wasn't a normal American Medal of Honor. It wasn't an upside down star, it was an upside right six pointed star. Almost like the Star of David of the Jewish religion. He figured that this must be the Medal of Honor of the Scotland Yard.
“I am here to give insight into the subject of the picture you were previously holding,” said Haynesworth in a deep, slow voice. All Oda could do was nod. The Brigadier General grabbed a chair and sat down. He motioned for Oda to do the same, then continued.
“What you were looking at is a Dragoon.” He picked up the picture and looked at it. “This is without a doubt a very dangerous specimen. Never have we had before a Dragoon single-handedly take on an entire team of Marines and survive.”
“Wait, so you've had this happen before?” asked Oda. Haynesworth nodded. “The British Intelligence keeps many records of these attacks.” He went on.
“The Dragoon is an alien. We do not know where it comes from, and we do not know its intentions. The first incident was on July 17, 4020.” Oda thought in his head. It's the year 4025. So they've known this for five years and didn't tell or warn anyone?
“We have gathered information on every type of alien there is. They can evolve very quickly, almost immediately, without having to go through any trouble, in a bigger, more stronger alien class. How they do this, we do not know. All we do know is that it takes millions of years for a species to evolve. Apparently this is not the case.
:dretch:“The Dretch is first, a small spider about the size of your head. It was the leg of a Dretch that your team found. Despite their small size, they can move with great speed and are able to climb walls without difficulty. Unlike spiders, they cannot spin webs. In place of that, they have a set of fangs that are capable of slicing through your head.
:basilisk:“When the Dretch is ready, it can evolve into a Basilisk. Not a giant snake, but something that looks like the bigger form of the Dretch, short two legs. The two front legs can grab onto something with over five hundred pounds of force. Once a Basilisk has you in its grasp, there is no hope of escaping. The Basilisk is also capable of evolving into a more advanced form of itself. This form can spray a poisonous gas which disorients you and causes headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, fevers, and hallucinations.
:advmarauder:“The Marauder comes next. Basically a flat, bigger form of the Basilisk. Marauders are much faster, though, that their brothers. They can jump off walls, allowing them to travel extremely fast in small, enclosed spaces. Like the Basilisk, the Marauder can also evolve into a more advanced form. The Advanced Marauder can unleash bolts of electricity, which has been measured at 6,000 volts. How this happens, we do not know.
:dragoon:“Now we come to the Dragoon. The second biggest form of the alien, the Dragoon is able to pounce long distances and great heights using its powerful legs. The jaws of a Dragoon are the most powerful of all the alien classes. An advanced form of the Dragoon is much more powerful, and has the ability to project poisonous barbs from its legs. Quite like many of our animals on Earth.
:tyrant:“The largest and most powerful form of all alien classes is the Tyrant. Standing on six powerful legs, at over 12 feet tall, looking almost like a mythical Centaur, the Tyrant is a force to be reckoned with. When charging, nothing has escaped being trampled under it. Its most prominent feature is its two front...knives of an arm. Certain minerals and elements have been mixed together to create a substance that is stronger than diamond, lighter than titanium. We are still studying the dead carcass of a Tyrant to find out how this is so.”
“Wait a minute,” said Private Oda. “You mean you have dead aliens in your labs?”
“Of course,” said the Brigadier General casually.
“Just how many are there?”
“At the moment, we have two of each type of alien alive, and three of each type dead.”
Oda stared at him in disbelief. “You have aliens ALIVE?!” he screamed at Haynesworth. Captain Kelly stood up and tried to hush the Private. The Brigadier General was unmoving. “Do you know what these things can do?” Oda kept screaming.
“Yes, I do know,” said Haynesworth. “My legs are mechanical because of these beings.” It was then that Oda noticed a creaking whenever Haynesworth walked.
“Then why are you keeping them ali—” Oda was cut off, as a scout ran into the room and started to talk.
“Brigadier General Haynesworth, I have terrible news!” he cried. The scout shoved some papers into his superior's hands. Haynesworth looked at them, and his eyes grew wide.
“There is no time for talk anymore,” he said. “The situation has become disasterous.”
END OF CHAPTER 4
Chapter 3
http://tremulous.net/forum/index.php?topic=10997.0 (http://tremulous.net/forum/index.php?topic=10997.0)
Chapter 5
http://tremulous.net/forum/index.php?topic=11142.0
NOTES:
Yes, yes, I know, I missed out on a lot of stuff. Like the Grangers, and the alien buildings. Well, that's all part of the plot >:)
Peace,
Kael'Thas
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A few things. You seemed to say 'shoot out' too much. And it just doesnt sound like a word that a highly educated Brigadier General would use. I would strayed towards something along the lines of, project, produce or catapualt.
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Not bad.
@Frazzler I can't find a single time he says shoot out, so I have no idea what you're talking about.
A few things to help you make it better:
- I think there is about a 99.99999% chance that Great Britain + Scotland yard would have ceased to exist thousands of years in the future... which brings me to my next point. (And the medal of honor is not british.)
- Tremulous does not actually take place in the 2000's, it starts in the year 4025, and while you may cry details, inconsistencies like this is what frequently ruins amature sci fi.
- You could have him just be injured in a hospital if you like. But if I were writing this story I would have him die and reincarnated through a telenode. Just a thought
- Dragoon doesn't *really* look like a spider
- You seem to waver a bit in narration, try to keep it steady.
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Another great chapter!
Tremulous does not actually take place in the 2000's, it starts in the year 4025, and while you may cry details, inconsistencies like this is what frequently ruins amature sci fi.
Yep, and a link to the official story: "The Visit" (http://tremulous.net/about/). This story could be shortly before the official story, where the Haos Redro hires mercenaries, unaware that the military is already studying the aliens?
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@Frazzler I can't find a single time he says shoot out, so I have no idea what you're talking about.
You can't because I fixed it right after he pointed it out.
@phoenix: this story IS before the official story.
there's a lot of things I didn't put in for a reason, e.x. how the telenode works, alien buildings, granger class, etc.
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@phoenix: this story IS before the official story.
not to quibble, but... 1500 years before?
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yea.....you'll see (:
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Very enjoyable!
@Moose, if he could just respawn when he died, it might make it less exciting, and if it was in fact 1,500 years before tremulous, telenodes and clones probably wouldn't have been invented yet, and I don't know about having mass drivers and high-tech buildables yet, unless they're extremely primordial :P. Also, it might be neat to introduce a bile dretch or something later on that isn't from default tremulous. :D
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Humans could not have found these aliens in the year 2440. That is only 431 years in the future, not enough plausible time for humans to have expanded into multiple solar systems.
And about your new edition: Tremor is not a planet.
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oh my goodness....
ok, ok, ok, there are many things that the CIA are doing right now that we don't even know about. They could have already founded an alien species.
then what is tremor; a station? are you going to tell me Karith isn't a planet either (well, I would understand that)?
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While you could pretend that the CIA has found an alien species, which I doubt, it seems very unlikely that they would have found these aliens, which are not developed enough to travel across galaxies.
No, Tremor is actually a spaceship:
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3349/3516246245_97a63389e7_o.jpg)
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If it is really ~1500 years sooner, then any tech they use would be ancient by the time of the official story.
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Karith is a station on a planet that isn't specified. Possibly the same planet that Niveus is on?
Space travel could be possible in 500 years, but none of us will ever know. ::)
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ok, fixed