Tremulous Forum

Media => Other Tremulous Media => Topic started by: Mr.Mustashio on October 14, 2010, 11:54:44 pm

Title: How a map dies.
Post by: Mr.Mustashio on October 14, 2010, 11:54:44 pm: It shook with the fury of the gods.

A static, hammering crescendo emitted within eight fiery jaws, each muzzle flash a curse upon all before them.

Beneath it lay a multitude of shining copper, before it was only death, a bane to all gurgling nightmares of the cold-beyond.

None passed.

The warrior stood amidst a sea of bodies, his armors once pale complexion now stained with the green life-blood of innumerable grangers, who's corpses choked the vast corridors of Liberalous.

Yet still more of the evil creatures eagerly rushed to feed the experimental chaingun, who's barrels glowed red with the heat of its exertions.

But despite his efforts, and his godly armament, it was not enough against such an unstoppable flood. As the seething green mass slowly

closed in, the soldier realized the inevitability of his doom, and with his mouth spread in a wicked grin.

"Come on! The battle suit roared, pumping his fists into the air.

Like an ocean the swarm surged forwards, swamping him with it's gurglyness.

For a brief moment a mound of Grangers existed where once had been the battle suit.

It was at this point the grenade blew up and Libralous ceased to exist.
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: CreatureofHell on October 15, 2010, 04:14:25 pm: Quote from: Mr.Mustashio on October 14, 2010, 11:54:44 pm
A static, hammering crescendo emitted within eight fiery jaws, each muzzle flash a curse upon all before them.
emitted by?
Quote
The warrior stood amidst a sea of bodies, his armors once pale complexion now stained with the green life-blood of innumerable grangers,
armor's

Quote
who's corpses choked the vast corridors of Liberalous.
whose

Quote
who's barrels glowed red with the heat of its exertions.
whose

Quote
As the seething green mass slowly closed in, the soldier realized the inevitability of his doom, and with his mouth spread in a wicked grin.
This sentence has no ending.

Quote
Like an ocean the swarm surged forwards, swamping him with it's gurglyness.
Its. Apart from that this line is the best bit ever.

Very sad for Granger lovers though. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: mooseberry on October 16, 2010, 08:26:29 am: Also you spelled the name of the map wrong making this entire story pointless.
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Mr.Mustashio on October 17, 2010, 06:13:07 pm: ._.

Ok. Thanks for the critique, I wrote this at a whim merely in an attempt to work on my lacking skills as a writer. It's been quite some time sense I last attempted to make something so I'm not particularly surprised that this short-story fails.
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Repatition on December 23, 2010, 12:43:51 am: Stupid was here
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: swamp-cecil on December 23, 2010, 03:13:56 pm: Quote from: Repatition on December 23, 2010, 12:43:51 am
Stupid was here
Hey, i didn't post yet! D:<
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Repatition on December 28, 2010, 10:52:39 pm: Quote from: swamp-cecil on December 23, 2010, 03:13:56 pm
Quote from: Repatition on December 23, 2010, 12:43:51 am
Stupid was here
Hey, i didn't post yet! D:<
LOL
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Kingnickolas on December 29, 2010, 06:32:10 am: Epic bsuit. Good job. There must have been quite a lot of grangers to take down a Bsuit...
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Pazuzu on December 29, 2010, 01:34:18 pm: How a thread dies: Repatition shuts his mouth and lets it live out its natural life.
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Qrntz on December 29, 2010, 04:27:44 pm: Quote from: Pazuzu on December 29, 2010, 01:34:18 pm
How a thread dies: Repatition shuts his mouth and lets it live out its natural life.
PIME TARADOX
Title: Re: How a map dies.
Post by: Pazuzu on December 29, 2010, 04:31:28 pm: What? Death is a part of life.