Tremulous Forum
Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: n00b pl0x on July 15, 2007, 04:27:15 am
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The Guide To Peeing Safely
By: Anthony
Table Of Contents
1.0 Table of Contents
1.1 Introduction
1.2 Urinal Strategy
1.3 Toilet Strategy (Standing)
1.4 Toilet Strategy (Sitting)
1.5 Final Words
1.6 Credits
1.7 Request for Sticky
1.8 Copyright Information[/list]
1.1 Introduction
Many people, including myself, have a all-too-common problem. This problem is a certain peeing disorder that prevents these afflicted peoples from doing their business properly. Many also say that this problem is severely minor, as it has a trivial fix. However, I would venture to say that people who do not know the fix would not think of it as "minor." So by now, many of you are probably thinking, "What is this problem so many people are forced to deal with every day?"
Peeingous Toohardium.
1.2 Urinal Strategy
This is the main reason I wrote this guide. I, myself, suffered many wet pants from this foe. After many many failed strategies, I finally found the ones I use today.
The Dry
(http://blog.coolz0r.com/images/urinal02.jpg)
This method is relatively straightforward. You aim right for one of the holes in the middle area of the rubber mat at the bottom of the urinal, and pee straight through. If your stream is narrow enough, and your hand is steady enough, you can have a successful trip to the bathroom with almost 0% splashback. I was surprised at the fact that my entire stream went through the hole the first time I did it, because the holes looked relatively small.
Unfortunately, some of you might not have a stream small enough for this strategy to work. If you are one of these people, I am sorry. There are only a few things I will not do in life, and one of them is testing peeing strategies with another man's penis.
The Wet
Sometimes you will find that there is a lot of water in the center, and that it actually covers up the filter. (or it just isn't there) When this happens, pee straight into the water. Normally, this is a bad idea (like with a toilet) but, since the surface area of the water is so small, you can fill it with bubbles almost instantly. Your pee will start to hit the bubbles, and they will cushion its fall a bit, before it replenishes the bubble supply from below.
1.3 Toilet Strategy (Standing)
At this point many of you might be wondering why I included both wet and dry urinals under the same bulletpoint on the table of contents. Well, I am here to answer your questions. When switching from dry to wet, your aim doesnt really differentiate much, with the exception of having to be a bit more percise with the dry, you're aiming in the exact same place. However, The differences between standing at a toilet and peeing, and sitting at a toilet and peeing are huge. You're not only aiming at a different side of the toilet, in one instance youre on the toilet.
(http://img481.imageshack.us/img481/812/wheretoaimuk0.png)
Aim for the X. You want to aim at the back center of the bowl, a little under the lip.
1.4 Toilet Strategy (Sitting)
Another reason I seperated the two was, well, I really have no idea how to pee sitting to make sure you dont splash. If I had to guess, I would say to aim right above the water...but I really don't know.
1.5 Final Words
Please post whatever you like in this thread, as long as it agrees with forum rules. I don't care if it has nothing to do with my guide, as far as I'm concerned thats a free bump until my guide gets stickied. :wink: Anyways, I hope I was able to help someone with this guide, whether it was revealing a trick to a sufferer, or just opening the eyes of someone else.
1.6 Credits
Myself
Google (for the pics seen in this post, and the © symbol stolen from their homepage)
Risujin (for the all around idea of prettying the post)
Tea (for the idea to do [ list ] for the table of contents)
If you would like to add something and/or suggest something new, please post it and I will look it over and, if you're lucky, I'll even add it.
1.7 Request for Sticky
I request this post be stickied because it can truely help people. In its current form, it has the means to help, but if it is stickied, it will attract more attention for people to help me improve upon it, and help the lives of others. I ask that you think of these people, the afflicted and the ignorant, and think of how you can change their lives by stickying this topic.
1.8 Copyright Information
©2007 Anthony a.k.a. n00b pl0x
All rights reserved.
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Thanks, this guide was very helpful, I've been dry now! Don't forget to shake it!
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Glad I could be of service to you.
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You forgot the crouching technique for either tall men or low toilets :)
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@pl0x: Why?
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@pl0x: Why?
To open people's eyes. Not just the people who have been splashing themselves for who knows how long, but also for the people who make fun of others who have this problem.
and to the other person/persons who have made suggestions:
what? :oops:
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This is probably the most constructive post noob pl0x has made, ever.
(That says a lot huh)
Now we just need Evlesoa to make one for the ladies.
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Ok n00b great guide but you also forgot that morning hard on pee.
I mean you have got to get the angle right or youll end up spraying the towel rack.
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Nice guide. Now whenever newbies ask, you all can just send 'em to this handy thread. :D
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Now we just need Evlesoa to make one for the ladies.
Wahahahaha
I actually found this guide immensly useful.
I now no longer completely wet the walls while in the toilet !
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you should electrify yourself for that
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you should electrify yourself for that
I'm suddenly reminded of when my cousin from Tennessee lost a bet that you can pee on an electric fence and not get zapped, the poor guy. Lost a good chunk of his dignity from hopping around like a bunny on crack along with his ten bucks.
Anyway, this thread has so much potential. I love it so far. :)
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Bravo pl0x Bravo!
Encore!
One question, how do you take a dumo without splashing could water up your ass?
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Aim for the sides and not the water?
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Mkay
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This one is awesome! 8)
STICKY!
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Bravo pl0x Bravo!
Encore!
One question, how do you take a dumo without splashing could water up your ass?
Hah hah hah hah hah.
Wow, good grief.
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Ninja Dude,
That's a dilemma men will just have to live with i think.
That or drain the water out before you drop your load.
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Btw, why aint this post in community -> strategies & tactics? thats where it belongs
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Btw, why aint this post in community -> strategies & tactics? thats where it belongs
i was under the impression that the strategies & tactics forum was just for stategies for tremulous, not strategies for peeing.
but thanks for the positive feedback, especially somethief <3 :oops:
@anger: its also more useful than all the posts youve ever made combined, what with all your "LOL LOOK AT MY 200 KILLZ" pictures you post. :roll:
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Btw, why aint this post in community -> strategies & tactics? thats where it belongs
i was under the impression that the strategies & tactics forum was just for stategies for tremulous, not strategies for peeing.
It's under community and peeing strategy is important one, you dont want to wet yourself during the game :wink:
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But if you get the sides of the toilet bowl, or drain the toilet, then itll look like Boy racers have been drift racing round your toilet bowl all day.
Please solve this defecation dilemma pl0x!
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Use antigrav?
Or just take a dump out of the window, a la medieval times :P
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Use antigrav?
Or just take a dump out of the window, a la medieval times :P
Hohohohohoho :D
This thread is most amusing.
Hah hah hah - im laughing at the thought of using antigrav :D
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But then it'll either just hang there, or just go to the bowl anyway, what with the enormous explosive forces produuced by bowl movement.
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Put a bit of cling film under the seat, very loose so when you do your business, it just...stays there until you like...ewwww....
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Put a bit of cling film under the seat, very loose so when you do your business, it just...stays there until you like...ewwww....
right.
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Thats what I did when I was younger.
Too people at school.
Once.
It doesnt work unless you gouge out the intended victims eyes and chop off his hands, if they have a habit off stuffing their hands down the toilet.
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Look guys go buy clear jello/gelatin whatever you call it and pour it into a toilet.
Stir and let it set up then place a small amount of water on top of it so it looks as if theres a bowl of water.
Someone pisses and voila a fountain of piss in the face/clothes.
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Lol, itll looks weird if you shi in it.
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Wow this is a great guide, almost inspires me to continue my guide to Watching the Price is Right.
Oh, and what is the delay on giving this topic the sticky treatment?
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pl0x you should add to the guide: If you are reading this guide, DON'T FORGET TO PISS IN THE TOILET BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR SEAT, BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO BUSY LAUGHING!
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Great guide, although I didn't need it. I r leet pee'r!
This one is awesome! 8)
STICKY!
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(http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/455/img24ac2.jpg)
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this thread made my day.
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nede sticky
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bump for sticky
btw, nice neckro warning
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WARNING: I spell "neckro" -- necro
Also this guide is awesome can we please sticky it???
And maybe because we cant decide whether this fits in strategies and tactics or off topic we should create a new sub forum for it. Please leave suggestions for what it should be called.
P.S. THIS GUIDE SAVED MY LIFE :police: :angel:
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well it seems to me that strategies and tactics is for tremulous strategies only, and this guide is a strategy and tactics to save your life.
Also, off-topic section rocks, just like this topic
IT NEEDS STICKY HERE :D :D :D :D :D :D
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When finished peeing, wiggle it around so you get all of the pee out or else you pull up your pants and have pee dripping down your leggs
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When finished peeing, wiggle it around so you get all of the pee out or else you pull up your pants and have pee dripping down your leggs
WELL SEE, THAT MAKES ME START TO GET HARD, AND WHEN I START I CANT STOP.
SO INSTEAD, I JUST LET THE FEW DROPS TRICKLE, SO MY TENT ISNT PITCHED WHEN I RETURN FROM THE LADIES ROOM.
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Sheesh, none of you pisseheads ever heard of TP?
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The big question is; how much of this did plox steal and how much did he actually came up with himself.
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SO INSTEAD, I JUST LET THE FEW DROPS TRICKLE, SO MY TENT ISNT PITCHED WHEN I RETURN FROM THE LADIES ROOM.
I guess that sad part he found out by himself.
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thought i posted in here....
when your done peeing swirl it around to get all the extra pee out!!!!
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thought i posted in here....
when your done peeing swirl it around to get all the extra pee out!!!!
shh you
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He probably had to do test runs and take volunteers for pay.
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ok, I have two problems.
How can you make your piss more accrate.
What I mean is, how do you convert a shotgun to a rifle?
Thx.
And have any of you not managed to get all the piss out, but instead a small bit sticks around burning uncomfortably.
Any tips ppl?
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SNDM, just squeeze it so it becomes a single stream. But not too hard or you'll stop it from coming out and it unrinasplodez all over ch00.
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nede sticky! more helpful info is being added by the second.
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SNDM, just squeeze it so it becomes a single stream. But not too hard or you'll stop it from coming out and it unrinasplodez all over ch00.
Piss or Pen0rz?
Anyone got any ideas about the burning urinary tract, apart from saying I have cancer or that stuff.
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From hearsay... go and see a doctor, STD.
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Pen0rz SNDM!
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rofl skweez piss :D ;D
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hey sdnm i have the same problem :(
luckily it only happens like once a month though
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hey sdnm i have the same problem :(
luckily it only happens like once a month though
Same, once a month here too!
We must be related!
Daddy?
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Ah, but what about Arab style Toilets, a hole in the ground with two footprint outlines conveniently placed to ensure "shit hot accuracy"...(especially after 2 pints of beer and a Vindaloo Curry, it always burns twice :-X). The "squat thrust" effect of your bowels plays havoc with your aim...
Help needed please.
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Good job rescuing a stupid old necro thread.
I commend your stupidity.
epic phail!
(http://content.ytmnd.com/content/3/6/b/36bc5110737f0547848023616287bd0b.gif)