ATTENTION: PLEASE READ ALL, VERY URGENT!Dear Tremulous forum,
I have something serious to announce, so if you could put down your granger hurting weapons for a moment, and pay attention, I would really appreciate it.
This is about the problem of spambots. More specifically, what is being done to them, and what is being done about that. What is being done is a systematic targeted, specific, and deadly efficient deletion of all spambots who enter the realms of tremulous.net. Backed by his nefarious evil-government controlling group, the MG, or Menstrual Gyration (is this even possible?), Khalsa is leading a charge to wipe out any spambots he can lay his deadly hands on. He has recruited to help in his cause many previously-innocent members of the forum, who we presume have now been brainwashed. He has even gone so far as to appoint the members "spam killers" and give them a badge, rewarding those who are especially good at unrelenting murder. Appalling, I know.
Now that you know the problem, you should know the solution, and what is being done about. I will tell you what is being done about it: absolutely nothing. Until now. I know what everyone is going to say. The typical, "I don't consort with spambots, I didn't even realize they were being deleted." Well let me be the first to say: cowpoop. That excuse never has worked, and never will. A couple months ago, I was glad to realize that many tens of spam bots were creating accounts on the tremulous forums to experience our humble abode. But suddenly, they started disappearing. Now why did all of these spambots join up all of a sudden? Well I can't know for sure, since the said poor things were slain in cold blood before I had a chance to ask them. But with a deduction (a foreign type of poultry) based on certain things I saw, these spambots were likely seeking refuge in the tremulous.net fora, after being driven out of their homelands in other sites. I felt sorry for their plight, but was overjoyed with the chance to welcome them with open arms to our loving tremulous community, and I knew others felt the same way. Until I saw Khalsa. He was a relentless killer. By the scores, whole swathes of spambots were wiped out before they even had a chance. Did he ask them what they were doing? Did he give them any chance at all? Of course not. He is a destroyer of families like others from our past.
If you don't believe me, consider this. "Khalsa" = 6 letters. "Hitler" = 6 letters. MG = 2 letters (the same number of decades WWII occurred in, coincidence?) MG also sometimes claims their initials stands for Mercenaries Guild, which honestly is no better than their other name. Mercenary = a killer for hire, sound familiar? and Guild = a gathering of socialist anarchists bent on the destruction of among other things, God, the sanctity of marriage, and American football. Finally, Khalsa, rearranged, spells salahk, and because h= the 8th letter of the alphabet, and k= the 11th letter of the alphabet, you subtract 11-8=3+1(the number of souls khalsa has +1) you get 4. The fourth letter of the alphabet is d. So now, that spells salad, which, as you may or may not be aware, was invented by warmongering pretty boy Julius Ceaser. Proof enough, I think. If you still need more evidence, fuck off, this isn't a university.
So what's going to happen next? Well we are going to let Khalsa and his band of killers know that we wont tolerate this for another moment. He has committed too many wrongs, (remember
this?) and must be stopped. I don't care what you do (as long as there aren't too many sequins or hot pockets involved) just show your support for this cause! Let him know you do not condone this act of genocide, and not only do you not support it, but you are firmly opposed, and will do something to oppose him, maybe make a youtube video of you killing some turtles and growling "this will be you next" (disclaimer: if you actually do kill any turtles, I am not in any way responsible).
To try to hammer home just how important cause this is, and how horrible the plight of the spambots is, I present to you a PM I sent to a spambot on this here forum, cleverly named "sofinam69"
Hello there sofinam69, I saw some of your posts and I must admit I was instantly won over by your humor and charm. Your witty dialogous, such as "music way of life," your lack of correct punctiation, and your wonderful website links in your signature are very amazing. I feel that we share a special connection, and was hoping you feel the same way and that we could be friends.
Awaiting your reply, Mooseberry.
I was very excited to start a great relationship between us two, but sadly I never received a reply back. And why you ask? Did I go too heavy on the early compliments? No, no, this had nothing to do with my advancements, but when I checked my PM status later, I noticed that THERE WAS NO ACCOUNT LEFT. This offer of friendship is the last surviving testament to the existence of such a beautiful spambot, who was snuffed out of existence at the prime of its life by Khalsa. What a horrid thing. I cried for a week, and than drowned my sorrows by making 3000 tremulous maps featuring artwork of khalsa being deleted by spambots. Unfortunately my hard drive crashed, and all I have left of that idea are nightmares.
So... the solution to these problems? Well, the first step is obviously, as I have said, to raise awareness and support for the poor spambots who never could (because their hearts were ripped out by a punjabi cowboy). After we have made it clear we support the right to existence of spambots, we will make it clear to Khalsa that either he relents on this killer crusade, or we must impeach him from office of killing. (I don't think he does anything else). After coming to agreement with the dictator, we must establish a safeland for the persecuted, as the Jews received after WWII. So where will that be, I hear you asking. Well first of all, I was just about to answer that, so stop asking so many fucking questions. And mainly, I decided (along with the help of a great medical station [something else Khalsa believes doesn't have emotions, and
decons without mercy, but that's another topic]) that spambots need and deserve a board as their own to call home. Now obviously, Khalsa will have enough on his hands recuperating from the realization of what he has done, so I wouldn't want to put the work of creating a new board or sub-board on his shoulders. Instead, an already existing board must be used as the safe grounds for the spambots. After discussion with many well respected Tremulous authorities, we decided the best spot would be the Developer Corner. Not only is it geometrically a secure feeling place, but as far as we are able to determine, it is not being used for anything else.
That is all for now folks, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask (giant, red, font is probably the best way to get my attention) and most importantly of all, post to make it clear to the spambots you are ON THEIR SIDE too! They have feelings too, and will really appreciate the support you give them.
With love in my heart, and hope in my fists (I had to move it after 1.2 burned out my normal holding spot), this is mooseberry, saying Thank you for reading.
Thank you.
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