Tremulous Forum

Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: Bunneh on December 09, 2007, 02:39:03 am

Title: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 09, 2007, 02:39:03 am
...would you tap it?

Before anyone screams "pedophile" at me, set the record; I'm 14, same as Bree here.

And, this is a long story; don't spam TL;DR's at me. Get some popcorn and read.

Female
14 years old
Blonde
5'7"
107 lbs

Competed on a school sponsored all-male wrestling team, went to state finals and won 1st place last year. There wasn't a women's division, but no one stopped her from joining the guys (since there are no rules regarding that). Quit the team this year due to, and I quote from her, "my dad being concerned for my 'safety'," end quote.

Been friends with me for 10 years now.

Has a blonde, emo boyfriend that she's trying to get rid of (more on this later).

IS FUCKING HAWT. PERIOD.

Tappable scale: 150/10


So, the emo boyfriend is named Spencer. Gay enough, right?

We've been fairly well out-of-contact for these last 10 years, seeing each other maybe once or twice a year. Still friends since preschool, but not too close. Until this year, now that I have her in a class, plus her locker is en route to just about all my classes. In that single class, she's always around me, which pisses off her emo boyfriend in the same class (as expected). Now that we're reacquainted together, old memories of the preschool days and chase-around-the-room affection have surfaced.

Anyway, I was on my way out of the school on Friday like all other sane teenagers. I walk by Bree's (won't use last names; no stalkers needed) locker, where Spencer is trying to act cool by leaning against the locker set with one leg down and the other on the locker, arms folded, head cocked back and to the side. I walk up to him, say "Who you waitin' on over here?" and get responded with a grin and "Who the hell you think I'm waiting on?" So, I just shook my head and walked on. Before I continue, let me give you a schematic of something so you know where stuff is around her locker;

_________________________
...............B......||||||||...E..
.......................||||||||......
.......................||||||||......
.......................||||||||......

_=Wall
B=Bree's locker
|=Ramp (very shallow)
E=Encounter point

Spencer was standing close to the foot of the ramp, at point B. I went up the ramp, and to my left was Bree, walking quickly to her locker. She saw me, I saw her, we smiled at each other, I made my characteristic nod of acknowledgment, and grazed her hand with mine. That's how we do every time we see each other in the hall; nothing more. Except for that afternoon.

Friday afternoon, the hit-ons, come-ons, and flirts went to a whole new level.

Get this topic to 100 views, and we'll share the last of the story.














Cruel, huh? Rest assured; it's true, and no incest/Bel-Air/other Encyclopedia Dramatica phenomena. This is the real deal.












Fine. I'll finish it now, since I'm feeling kind today.




So, we touched hands, and I pulled away as she did. Then, my left arm gets put in a strong, yet delicate, hold. The sudden contact set off my reflexes, thinking it was the emo bastard getting touchy with my contact to his girlfriend, so my right hand clenched and I jerked my head to the left while moving my forward motion to the rear and left. What do I find? Bree standing there, mischievous smile planted on her flawless face, holding my left arm with her right and her left arm swinging around to grab my right arm.

That places the scene for you; a crowded hallway on a Friday afternoon, my 6'1" 153 hulk being grasped by a 5'7" 107 blonde girl (with a nice body, pretty athletic, well-structured, nice chest FTW [not sure of exact size, but very tappable >D]), and a blonde queer standing next to his girlfriend's locker staring at us with a wide look of shock on his partially-visible face (beneath the long hair).

So, Bree is standing there with me, her hands holding my arms by the elbows, us facing each other. With that same mischievous smile, she jerked me towards her. That put us in direct body contact, me looking down at her with a bit of a surprised expression, which quickly receded into my trademark smile. She wrapped her arms around me, looked up at me, smiled, then let go and walked away slowly.

I was left standing there, in the crowd, with her walking away and looking back over her shoulder with the constant grin, placing one finger to her lips and signaling "Don't say anything" like everyone should know from past experience with teachers, parents, or anyone who wants to quiet you without saying anything themself.

At that point, I could have passed out from the sudden change in blood pressure; it was that seductive. Fuckin' awesome, considering that she's a great wrestler...heh heh...

Except I couldn't pass out without being seriously injured; Spencer was on the move. Fortunately, so was my buddy Matt. All 6'5", 250 pounds of him. Right next to me, I felt rather than heard the crowd suddenly part. Matt comes walking up from behind me, pushing through the masses. He steps next to me, and Spencer slows to a halt at the base of the ramp. So, we had a standoff there; Spencer, halted at the foot of the ramp; Matt, halted at the top of the ramp; Bree, getting her stuff out of her locker; and me, standing at the top of the ramp, mesmerized by the latest contact I'd had.

The mental funk wore off, with me saying "Hey, Matt; you've got the high ground, the hulk, the ego, the support, and the brains to kick this guy's ass," and Spencer running towards the nearest exit with all due haste. So, Matt laughs, says "Meh...faggots don't make good eatin' anyways," and hulks off. The crowds are gone, and I'm standing there with Bree. Alone. She gets her shoulder bag and purse, and heads off to the bus after saying "I'll be seeing you Monday..." with, you guessed it, the smile. I grabbed my jacket and shoulder bag off the floor, then headed the opposite direction to walk home.


Which ends the story so far; Monday is bound to bring more developments, if we even go. This upcoming Missouri ice storm might knock out classes for a couple days.

Share your thoughts, and answer the question; would you tap it if you were me? I know which direction I'd go, obviously...

-Sexeh Bunneh
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 09, 2007, 03:25:52 am
lol, highschool.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Steely Ann on December 09, 2007, 03:26:35 am
Boy oh boy, this is the greatest lockbait we've had in a while.  Hope you have a Fire Ring on you too, or it's gonna get awful hot in here real quick.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Lava Croft on December 09, 2007, 03:46:47 am
* Lava Croft starts concentrating on a spell...
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: _Equilibrium_ on December 09, 2007, 03:53:40 am
Why do people use the trem forums as a personal journal? Especially since these forums are filled with spammers/flamers.

Oh, and lol at a girlfriend who can beat you up.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Death On Ice on December 09, 2007, 04:27:47 am
* Death On Ice Finishes casting before Lava - LOCKAGA!!!
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Evlesoa on December 09, 2007, 05:57:41 am
Why do people use the trem forums as a personal journal? Especially since these forums are filled with spammers/flamers.

Oh, and lol at a girlfriend who can beat you up.

I second that, because if i am not able to say shit that's off topic... then you shouldnt post your real life bullshit either.

You're not special, because if you get the priviledge, then i should too.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 09, 2007, 07:09:55 am
Oh, and something else that just occurred to me: he calls this Spencer guy a "queer," and then goes on to sign the post as "Sexeh Bunneh." High-fives to irony.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: PIE on December 09, 2007, 07:38:04 am
I personally don't care if someone posts their life story in here, it isn't against the rules and frankly someone can give them some advice that can help them out with their situation.
The issue with these kinds of threads are tons of people who have nothing to say start posting that they don't care and it turns into a flamewar and that is the grounds for a lock.
I'm tired of the people with nothing to say posting. WTF is in it for you, you are the problem not the topic. The topic will sink to nowhere just like a lock if you would just stop posting how much you don't like it.

My advice:
Hot girls who are shopping around before done with their last boyfriend or are too quick to hook up after they just dumped someone are never a good idea, especially at that age. If you have known her for that long its not worth it at this point if you aren't willing to throw it away. Forever from that age is a long long time and with the stuff you're bound to go through in the future that change how you think about things i give it no chance for survival but a high chance in you loosing a friend.. you figure if it is worth the risk right now to hit it.. you can always wait though until you have both had your kicks and are ready for a real relationship.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Evlesoa on December 09, 2007, 07:49:05 am
well I'm awfully sorry P.I.E.

P.I.E. stands for

Peaceful
Inevitable
Extortion

Thats what you do P.I.E

And i hope you dont kill me for my opinions, oh noes!!!

And that was all a joke, so if you excuse me, i shall continue eating my food at 2:49 AM as it is right now, and then i will go to bed after i rinse my mouth as i just brushed my teeth.

Thank you very much!
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 09, 2007, 09:50:26 am
Bunneh (what a "gay" name lol) seems kind of "gay"

You're half right PIE

they deserve each other



P.S. I bet he's this Spencer fellow

don't even deny it
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Shadowgandor on December 09, 2007, 11:11:28 am
I didn't get it. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 09, 2007, 02:10:37 pm
P.S. I bet he's this Spencer fellow

Trust me; if I were Spencer, I would have already committed suicide from sheer horror at looking in the mirror.

Also, Bunneh is synonymous with Rabbit, which is a euphemism given to "gentlemanly" guys, if you are aware of such things. That would happen to be a joke nickname from various people at the school that I've had for a while, and I figured I'd turn it to Bunneh for my online persona.

If I could set up my avatar, I'd prove it to you with my Bunneh GIF. Hilarious, it is.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Shadowgandor on December 09, 2007, 03:24:38 pm
Seeing how you talk so 'respectfull' of the bf of your friend/lover, I take it that you're jealous and don't know what she sees/saw in him. Amiright?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 09, 2007, 03:39:31 pm
Seeing how you talk so 'respectfull' of the bf of your friend/lover, I take it that you're jealous and don't know what she sees/saw in him. Amiright?

Why would I be jealous of a creature that resembles this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=LWSjUe0FyxQ), just a bit younger and lighter hair colored?

That's as close as I can get to giving you a description of the Spencer guy without giving you photos that I do not possess.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Caveman on December 09, 2007, 03:56:42 pm
Why do people use the trem forums as a personal journal? Especially since these forums are filled with spammers/flamers.

Oh, and lol at a girlfriend who can beat you up.

I second that, because if i am not able to say shit that's off topic... then you shouldnt post your real life bullshit either.

You're not special, because if you get the priviledge, then i should too.

You had your chance many a month ago and got you old account banned because you just don't get it.
So you should stop worrying about others and take care about your own problems.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: _Equilibrium_ on December 09, 2007, 07:10:11 pm
Seeing how you talk so 'respectfull' of the bf of your friend/lover, I take it that you're jealous and don't know what she sees/saw in him. Amiright?

Why would I be jealous of a creature that resembles this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=LWSjUe0FyxQ), just a bit younger and lighter hair colored?

That's as close as I can get to giving you a description of the Spencer guy without giving you photos that I do not possess.
you know, tearing down others makes you look like an ass.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 09, 2007, 07:33:50 pm
You're half right PIE

they deserve each other

I'm with you on this, but to take it a step further, this Spencer kid probably also deserves to get dumped that harshly. I really don't see this as anything less than an ideal situation. Bunneh, post back to us when you cheat on this girl and she suplexes you.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 09, 2007, 07:45:26 pm
Bunneh, post back to us when you cheat on this girl and she suplexes you.

Ouch...that hurts to even think about...

Besides; there's few females at the school that are worth two-timing, so Bree is about my only shot. There's others that are fugly brainiacs, hawt dingbats, and extremely few that are a combination of the pluses of both.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Shadowgandor on December 09, 2007, 08:08:33 pm
You're half right PIE

they deserve each other

she suplexes you.

Me stupid. Me no understand what suplexes means ???
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 09, 2007, 09:12:27 pm
Bunneh, post back to us when you cheat on this girl and she suplexes you.

Ouch...that hurts to even think about...

Besides; there's few females at the school that are worth two-timing, so Bree is about my only shot. There's others that are fugly brainiacs, hawt dingbats, and extremely few that are a combination of the pluses of both.

LOL, he defends himself not by saying that he wouldn't cheat on her, but that there's nobody worth cheating with. XD

EDIT:
Me stupid. Me no understand what suplexes means ???

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suplex
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: + OPTIMUS + on December 10, 2007, 02:07:30 am

don't ever steal girlz, real life karma will PWN you.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: thirdstreettito on December 10, 2007, 05:21:00 am
Oh noez! No Pictures!
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: tuple on December 10, 2007, 05:24:53 am
don't ever steal girlz, real life karma will PWN you.

+1
QFT!

Women talk.  Many, many years later women will talk.  The one you love who finds out you're a "cheater" will see once less barrier when faced with the temptation of cheating on you.  Thats a burn that could be a long time coming, but will burn 10X brighter.

That could never happen though, right?  I mean, you're so much cooler than spence...
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 10, 2007, 02:02:24 pm
LOL, he defends himself not by saying that he wouldn't cheat on her, but that there's nobody worth cheating with. XD

Well, it's true; there's about 3 girls right now that are perfectly tappable, single, and intelligent enough to write their names correctly. The rest fall into the category in my previous post.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: firebladez212 on December 10, 2007, 10:36:28 pm
normally i read the few 1st words/sentences on a longass post like htis

so its monday, past monday, what happend?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 11, 2007, 09:30:49 pm
Things are continuing normally, so there's not much to speak of...yet.

This Friday, however, is going to be the day. I've already arranged things with the guys...they know what's going down.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: yetshi on December 12, 2007, 07:46:23 am
Dear Live Journal:

today a girl touched my hand and my pee-pee got hard

tonight i will go run the skin off of it.
-Sexeh Bunneh
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Annihilation on December 12, 2007, 10:30:45 am
normally i read the few 1st words/sentences on a longass post like htis

so its monday, past monday, what happend?
Oh god fireblade hit 75 posts, watches as the karma system completely and utterly falls apart.

Also do you mean normally you only read the first few words to sentences in long posts but this time you read it all and you are actually interested in what has happened in the said event?  Because your poor english just hurt me.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 12, 2007, 09:26:43 pm
normally i read the few 1st words/sentences on a longass post like htis

so its monday, past monday, what happend?
Oh god fireblade hit 75 posts, watches as the karma system completely and utterly falls apart.

Also do you mean normally you only read the first few words to sentences in long posts but this time you read it all and you are actually interested in what has happened in the said event?  Because your poor english just hurt me.

The fact that you have positive karma is proof enough that the karma system is already a joke.

"your poor english just hurt me"
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Tycho on December 12, 2007, 11:45:35 pm
The fact that you have positive karma is proof enough that the karma system is already a joke.

just OFFing here: every forum karma system is a joke. Ppl vote not by the value of the post but by their feeling of pain over their shattered egos that was caused by the post. Yet it is awfully painfully tortureous to be nice to every clone of the etalon of noobness just to get a positive karma...  ::)

lul... page2GET

edit.: LOL see? I make this post and my karma drops after it :laugh:
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 12, 2007, 11:53:27 pm
UPDATE:

SWEETNESS! I repent on my post mentioning that this current lady friend was the only one available. I've got a 4-hour test session tomorrow containing a flute player (Emily) and an alto sax player (Erika). BOTH of them are in great standing with me, and Emily is superhot. Plus, she plays the flute, which is much better than a wrestler for a girlfriend. Story about her, me, and last night's concert later; gotta go for now.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: PIE on December 13, 2007, 01:15:34 am
I hope you do start dating one of them and they check out the trem forums and read how you were drooling all over everyone else on here.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: NiTRoX on December 13, 2007, 08:44:20 am
I hope you do start dating one of them and they check out the trem forums and read how you were drooling all over everyone else on here.

They only want his money :)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Tycho on December 13, 2007, 09:35:29 am
PROTIP: never show them tremulous! :-X :-X :-X They'll own you in-game, then read the forums and have the wrestler one beat you up for this topic! :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: + OPTIMUS + on December 13, 2007, 09:36:20 am
+1, Bunneh!

picking up fluter twins is much better that stealing one from a fag.

but alas,... -1 for braking the Rule No.3: "never give up"

lol tycho megeloztel gecc :-D
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 13, 2007, 01:58:06 pm
I hope you do start dating one of them and they check out the trem forums and read how you were drooling all over everyone else on here.

They only want his money :)

Money? He's 14. :P
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: firebladez212 on December 13, 2007, 01:59:46 pm
normally i read the few 1st words/sentences on a longass post like htis

so its monday, past monday, what happend?
Oh god fireblade hit 75 posts, watches as the karma system completely and utterly falls apart.

Also do you mean normally you only read the first few words to sentences in long posts but this time you read it all and you are actually interested in what has happened in the said event?  Because your poor english just hurt me.


The fact that you have positive karma is proof enough that the karma system is already a joke.

"your poor english just hurt me"


u gota be kidding me power.... my sentence was perfectly fine and u must be stupid to have to guess the other part

dude just go up to her, behidn her, wrap 1 arm around her arms, 1 around her eyes and say, who the fuck r u ? (thats the part u say)
then after that stab her with a knife
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Shadowgandor on December 13, 2007, 08:27:10 pm
normally i read the few 1st words/sentences on a longass post like htis

so its monday, past monday, what happend?
Oh god fireblade hit 75 posts, watches as the karma system completely and utterly falls apart.

Also do you mean normally you only read the first few words to sentences in long posts but this time you read it all and you are actually interested in what has happened in the said event?  Because your poor english just hurt me.


The fact that you have positive karma is proof enough that the karma system is already a joke.

"your poor english just hurt me"


u gota be kidding me power.... my sentence was perfectly fine and u must be stupid to have to guess the other part

dude just go up to her, behidn her, wrap 1 arm around her arms, 1 around her eyes and say, who the fuck r u ? (thats the part u say)
then after that stab her with a knife

lemme guess, your just as succesfull with the girls as I am? :P
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: MasterMechanic on December 13, 2007, 08:52:00 pm
you guys are all freakin' retards... it's not much about them being "tappable" or not...its about the fact of spending the rest of your life with them or not...take it from me, don't get stuck with some stuck up whore who'll cheat/leave you at the first possible moment. you don't want someone youll regret staying with wholl eventually rob you of your kids and house and car with a divorce....


not that this has happened to me.Seriously, it hasnt. i just turned 18...

but also beware that if you "tap" this chick, or any chick for that matter, use some protection. Don't be like me with a 4 year old daughter that you can never see, thanks to your lovers parents.

trust me...it sux.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: NiTRoX on December 13, 2007, 08:52:42 pm
normally i read the few 1st words/sentences on a longass post like htis

so its monday, past monday, what happend?
Oh god fireblade hit 75 posts, watches as the karma system completely and utterly falls apart.

Also do you mean normally you only read the first few words to sentences in long posts but this time you read it all and you are actually interested in what has happened in the said event?  Because your poor english just hurt me.


The fact that you have positive karma is proof enough that the karma system is already a joke.

"your poor english just hurt me"


u gota be kidding me power.... my sentence was perfectly fine and u must be stupid to have to guess the other part

dude just go up to her, behidn her, wrap 1 arm around her arms, 1 around her eyes and say, who the fuck r u ? (thats the part u say)
then after that stab her with a knife

lmao.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 13, 2007, 10:01:00 pm
Okay. Now, for that story I promised but was interrupted by a minor emergency last night.

Without further ado, here goes;

Tuesday night was the band concert, for which I was present due to my role as 1st chair trombonist. We were set to meet in the school cafeteria, UNSUPERVISED, at 7 PM local time.

I was the first to arrive, being Johnny On-The-Spot like usual, at 6:45. I stopped by the band room, chatted with our director for a moment, then told him I'd head on up to the cafeteria to get the tables set up and everything before everyone started showing up. I followed that idea, and went to the cafeteria to find that the tables were already set up and all that was needed was lights; and air freshener. TONS OF IT. The janitors apparently saw fit to leave the trash cans full of crap from lunch that day, so the cafeteria smelled as so.

With nothing to do and no one to talk to, I went back down to the main entrance to usher for a while. About 6:55, Emily showed up; the flute player. Being close friends via her male friend, a tuba player, I smiled and greeted her more warmly than the rest of the folks there. I bowed, turned on my best English accent, and said "Fancy walking to the pub for a drink, madam?"

She caught on, smiled, offered her hand, turned on the English accent, and said "Why, that would be quite pleasurable, fine sir!" which resulted in our laughing while moving towards the cafeteria. She was dressed in a medium length black skirt, stilletos, and black sleeveless top, thoroughly enhancing her excellent figure.

By the time we got back to the cafeteria, a considerable portion of the band was there. I motioned for Emily to wait back a few steps, and I slowly eased forward to see who all was there. Then, an idea kicked in to totally blow everyone's mind. I walked back to Emily, whispered for her to lock arms with me, and we waltzed into the cafeteria. The room went dead silent as I walked Emily to a seat near her friends, released her arm, turned her around, bowed, kissed her hand, then turned and left promptly to hang out in the hall just outside the cafeteria while she was swarmed by everyone asking what the hell was going on.

So, I was standing out in the hall, leaning against the wall '50s style, in my black pants, black shoes, and red polo shirt (dress code for the jazz band I was performing with) when my friend Alex walked out. He motioned for me to walk to the vending machines around the corner, where he then nearly yelled out "I can't believe you did that! If Brad [tuba player] finds out, you're in trouble. You know how he is, around her..." I nodded, said that he wouldn't care, and resumed my post outside the cafeteria door, greeting various friends as they walked by.

About 7:10, Emily stormed out the cafeteria door opposite the one I was watching and went around the corner with her phone in hand. Thinking that something was going on, I followed her down the short ramp and around the corner to the vending machines. As I got there, she slammed her phone closed and walked over to me.

"What's going on, girl?" I said.
She replied, "Grr...I hate Tina, Kelly, Morgan and Erica!"
"Why? I just saw them headed down towards the band room a second ago, before you came out here."
"That's exactly why! 'Oh my gosh Emily, why did James [me] walk you in like that?' and 'Like, he must like you or something' and 'You're gonna be so popular!' and all that friendly crap right before they walk off on me!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...what the hell's that mean?"
"For one, they walk like fucking whores.'

To demonstrate, Emily walks around the corner to the top of the ramp and starts prancing down towards the cafeteria in her 3-inch stilletos whilst shaking her ass in my direction. She got to the bottom, where I walked up and said, "You almost got it right."

She glanced back with a puzzled expression, then said, "Fine. Show me, since you saw them walking."

Instead of prancing myself, I said "Come here, let me show you." She turned around, facing away from the cafeteria door, and stood there. I walked up behind her, placed my hands on her hips, and gently swayed her to the left and right, getting to a point where she was almost exaggerating the motions and snapping her spine, then my saying "Alright. Maintain that swing, and walk up the ramp."

Emily complied, and right before I let go of her hips to let her walk up the ramp, Alex stepped out of the cafeteria and looked straight at us.

"Am I...interrupting...something?" he stuttered, with a dropped jaw.

I turned around and looked at him, then looked at Emily for help, and she just smiled at him.

"You probably don't want to know."
"No...not really, not with Brad at the table over there..." Alex said, glancing at a table out of sight to his left.

Emily looked at me, with my hands still on her now-motionless hips, and pointed down at them. I glanced down and said, "Oh...yeah...sorry. Let's work on that later, okay?" which was responded with a giggle and "Okay. That's fine with me." She took her hands, tapped mine, I let go, and she sauntered past the still-jaw-dropped Alex, who watched her go over to her seat quietly.

When she was out of sight, Alex ran around the corner and I sauntered toward the unofficial meeting place.

"The fuck was that, man!?" he yelled.
"Shh...shh...it's all good," I said.
"What do you mean, 'it's all good'?!"
"What Brad doesn't know won't hurt him, will it?"
"No, but what Brad DOES know WILL hurt YOU, Jay!"
"Naw. He's in great standings with me, so it'll just be written off as a joke."
"Whatever, man...anyways, what was that, anyway?"

I smiled at him, walked towards the cafeteria, and he said, "No way, Jay. You did not!" which earned another smile and him saying "Dude; you gotta move to Bel-Air."













Alright, the Bel-Air thing was shopped. What he actually said was "Dude; you gonna hit it?" and that's the end. For now, at least.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: firebladez212 on December 13, 2007, 10:19:25 pm
BORING,, now your story looks fake, stopped half way in

good luck.

and like i said, stab her ass (not the ass, but u could if u wanted)

Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 14, 2007, 12:04:31 am
We were set to meet in the school cafeteria, UNSUPERVISED, at 7 PM local time.

Uh oh, UNSUPERVISED! Time for some kuh-raaazy highschool capers, no parents allowed!
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Steely Ann on December 14, 2007, 12:20:05 am
"For one, they walk like fucking whores"?

As opposed to celibate whores?

// Your story's lamer than a legless Helen Keller with Down's Syndrome, by the way.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Smokey on December 14, 2007, 03:59:24 am
you guys are all freakin' retards... it's not much about them being "tappable" or not...its about the fact of spending the rest of your life with them or not...take it from me, don't get stuck with some stuck up whore who'll cheat/leave you at the first possible moment. you don't want someone youll regret staying with wholl eventually rob you of your kids and house and car with a divorce....


not that this has happened to me.Seriously, it hasnt. i just turned 18...

but also beware that if you "tap" this chick, or any chick for that matter, use some protection. Don't be like me with a 4 year old daughter that you can never see, thanks to your lovers parents.

trust me...it sux.
Condoms suck, get girls on BC.

Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: KamikOzzy on December 14, 2007, 05:52:23 am
Lol bunneh, good story. It was tl; but I still read it. But what I wanna know is: Where in missouri? Kansas here :)

P.S.

+1 to BC. Condoms fail way more often, and ruin the fun. The only drawback is needed the prescription, of course. =/
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Steely Ann on December 14, 2007, 06:25:06 am
Yeah, good old BC pill.  Nothing like doubling one's risk for unipolar depression and screwing with your cycle.  Pass.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: KamikOzzy on December 14, 2007, 06:30:01 am
*I* don't have a "cycle", so *I* don't care. :P
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Steely Ann on December 14, 2007, 08:01:56 am
Ozzy

Huh.  So you don't have that set of genitalia, either?

Your adulthood's gonna be awwfully dull.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Plague Bringer on December 14, 2007, 12:22:08 pm
tl;dr.

Too long; did read.

More later, I've got to jump in the shower, shovel a driveway, and get to school in.. 40 minutes.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Death On Ice on December 14, 2007, 03:39:34 pm
We know not what he's doing in that shower after reading your story, Bunneh
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 14, 2007, 08:28:01 pm
We know not what he's doing in that shower after reading your story, Bunneh

QFT.

Take a cold 'un, buddy...

Also, Ozman, I'm not at liberty to go into detail for fear of lurking child rapists, but it's somewhere in the vicinity of Springfield.

//You don't mind my using Ozman, do you? That's what I've heard everyone call you, but I don't personally know you like most of them do.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Plague Bringer on December 14, 2007, 08:53:23 pm
Oh yes, I pleasured myself in the shower because your story got my hormones raging.  ::)

You certainly are jumping from girl to girl, aren't you? Well, don't be in it for the sex, if you're looking for a relationship, then find a relationship, not a bum-buddy. You seem to have the potential. For your age (you said you were fourteen, did you not?) you are incredibly mature from what I know of you. Your grammar and spelling is above average, at least around here it would be. You kind of remind me of.. well, me (On a good day, that is).

Anyways, "tappability" is a bonus, but if whichever girl you choose you're going to dump after you fuck her, then save yourself the trouble. If whichever girl you choose is as thick as your school walls, don't bother. Get a girl with a brain and a heart, not just with large assets.

Good luck, looking forward to an update (I'll admit, this is interesting, I'm currently single and looking. Lucky prick  ;)), but might I suggest a personal blog rather than these forums?

Just my 0.03$
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: MasterMechanic on December 14, 2007, 09:14:52 pm
My point EXACTLY!!!

as for the BC yes that is better than the condoms...but if using a rubber than ALWAYS check the expiration date...
i was partaking of "special" brownies at the time so i didnt think to do that.....don't do drugs either....

but, the us government says "Abstinance works!"  so take their word that because they say that,teens don't do that sort of thing....HAH!

but i digress...go for the relationship not the sex........though it is a bonus to have both
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 15, 2007, 12:22:39 am
You seem to have the potential. For your age (you said you were fourteen, did you not?) you are incredibly mature from what I know of you. Your grammar and spelling is above average, at least around here it would be.

Actually, the whole time I was reading this, I was thinking about how much of a distressingly average fourteen year old boy he is; maybe even a good bit below. Spelling and grammar don't count for much.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 15, 2007, 12:31:33 am
Wow...

a number of posters seem to think this story is real


I'm amazed at the level of intelligence this forum currently has
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Kaleo on December 15, 2007, 12:34:29 am
"Tap" it???

WTF are you on about?

I might "Hit" it, but geez... Tap it? Man you are so softcore!
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Plague Bringer on December 15, 2007, 12:50:18 am
You seem to have the potential. For your age (you said you were fourteen, did you not?) you are incredibly mature from what I know of you. Your grammar and spelling is above average, at least around here it would be.

Actually, the whole time I was reading this, I was thinking about how much of a distressingly average fourteen year old boy he is; maybe even a good bit below. Spelling and grammar don't count for much.
Point taken. His mindset is indeed that of the average fourteen year old boy. With luck he'll mature to the point of longing for a real relationship, as I have. Now, I know that I may not seem the most mature fifteen year old around these parts, but the forums are my way to vent a bit of steam. In person, I can (stress on can) be very mature.

AppleJuice: Regardless of how fictional this story is, it's realistic (by my standards, at least) and entertaining. It's a good read, and we can offer whatever comments and criticism we want. It matters not whether we believe this story is true or not so long as it's entertaining. Do you read non-fiction every time you sit down with a good book? I think not.By the way, it's not our level of intelligence that is at a low, it's our level of gullibility.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: The MC Horton Crankfire on December 15, 2007, 03:48:22 am
AppleJuice: Regardless of how fictional this story is, it's realistic (by my standards, at least) and entertaining. It's a good read, and we can offer whatever comments and criticism we want. It matters not whether we believe this story is true or not so long as it's entertaining. Do you read non-fiction every time you sit down with a good book? I think not.By the way, it's not our level of intelligence that is at a low, it's our level of gullibility.

It's not our gullibility, it's his cynicism. There's always a chance that anything on the internet is fake, and he wants to take those odds, hoping he can pump his ego with an "I called it" in case he turns out to be right. Granted, he's halfway right--in that a 14-year-old would make up a story like this. But what he fails to remember is that 14-year-olds would also make a stupid scenario like this actually happen.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 15, 2007, 05:07:08 am
Uh...

It DEFINITELY did not happen the way he described it.  He's using very typical storytelling techniques that porn-writers usually use (I know because I used to read some with a girl kekekek [HER IDEA LOL]).

Just look at all the cheesy lines he has used.

So yes, it is in fact this board's level of intelligence.

If you find this entertaining, then you need to read better books.  Besides, the main character in this story isn't even an anti-hero; he's just a stupid asshole (not to say anything bad about assholes...just stupid ones).


Sometimes the most immature people are the only ones who use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation.  Masking the otherwise obvious.

k
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Shadowgandor on December 15, 2007, 02:14:21 pm
It doesn't need to be written by a porn writer, but could be a romantic book as well. About the 'zomg fakezors' and stuff, I don't care. Half the forum says their tool is 15+ long as well, so who cares ::)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Plague Bringer on December 15, 2007, 02:52:28 pm
Uh...

It DEFINITELY did not happen the way he described it.  He's using very typical storytelling techniques that porn-writers usually use (I know because I used to read some with a girl kekekek [HER IDEA LOL]).

Just look at all the cheesy lines he has used.

So yes, it is in fact this board's level of intelligence.

If you find this entertaining, then you need to read better books.  Besides, the main character in this story isn't even an anti-hero; he's just a stupid asshole (not to say anything bad about assholes...just stupid ones).


[selfownage]Sometimes the most immature people are the only ones who use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation.  Masking the otherwise obvious.[/selfownage]

k
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 15, 2007, 07:49:33 pm
Um

I already know I'm immature

lol

So...once again you're only proving that you don't know you are as well
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 15, 2007, 11:16:26 pm
Half the forum says their tool is 15+ long as well, so who cares ::)

Well, I'm not that big, nor am I a liar; I wear a size 14 shoe and the schoolgirl's myth isn't a myth, at least with me.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Death On Ice on December 17, 2007, 12:47:24 am
Yeah, the bullshit police are on your tail.  :police:

We all know you're a size eleven shoe size. :P
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 17, 2007, 12:48:38 pm
Yeah, the bullshit police are on your tail.  :police:

We all know you're a size eleven shoe size. :P

I wore 11s back in, what...5th grade, I think?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: tuple on December 17, 2007, 01:04:24 pm
Wow...

a number of posters seem to think this story is real


I'm amazed at the level of intelligence this forum currently has

Forum members are entertaining themselves by responding to a story.  Whether or not the story is true is irrelevant.  Despite your protestations, you are entertained as well.

I sat in a bar listening to a group of people bitch about how Madonna is not entertaining in the least, is manufactured and as a result is dishonest music.  This blathering went on for a good 45 minutes before I mentioned that she must be a pretty good entertainer as we've been entertaining ourselves using her as a topic for some time now.

Thinking that a story posted on the internet is real (hell, even false) is not that unusual.  You have only slightly less reason to believe that a story told to you on the internet is any more real than a story told to you in real life, but only slightly.  On the up side, your ability to quickly research that story is increased tenfold, if not more.

People lie.  People stretch the truth.  Fabricate, improve apon.  People allow their personal perception of an event to color its meaning or purpose.  Not just on the internet, in real life too.  Especially in real life.

Movements seem exaggerated, inches on a ruler seem like 2, time seems altered, reactions are slightly more aligned with what you expected, though only slightly.  But such is a story which has been perceived > experienced > processed > reacted to > remembered > regurgitated

You are extremely cynical though.  Entertaining yourself by being critical of those entertaining themselves.

Think of it this way.  The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy, to feel nothing.  In responding to this at all, you feel some compulsion to respond, and as such do not feel nothing.  Regardless of why you respond, if you really thought that this was all pointless, you would simply think nothing of it and not respond at all.  That is not the case though, is it?

Must be difficult to be friends with you.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 17, 2007, 02:06:12 pm
Your logic has one serious flaw

People don't always do things for the purpose of being entertained


Done
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: tuple on December 17, 2007, 02:32:01 pm
ah yes, you frequent a gaming board for some higher purpose  ::)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AppleJuice on December 17, 2007, 02:48:31 pm
Lower purpose*
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: tuple on December 17, 2007, 03:14:59 pm
Lower purpose*

So what is that lower purpose?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Steely Ann on December 17, 2007, 05:44:59 pm
Sexual gratification.

 :P
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Death On Ice on December 17, 2007, 11:42:29 pm
But of course.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 18, 2007, 03:22:01 am
Lewlcakes.

Also, how do you like SNB's imitation post? Frightening, isn't it? Hopefully no younger children roam these forums, else they may be entitle to serious nightmares and potential child-endangerment lawsuits.

Done.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: snb on December 18, 2007, 09:01:14 pm
lol that was funny i was trieng to make fun of clay aken but i supposed it would be less belivable if i put that there so i just put clay and evry one was like in a gay troop exept Jake wich was the hermaphrodites(clay)  boy friend lol
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Caveman on December 18, 2007, 09:54:37 pm
Strange?!
Why is it that only the 'big' word has been spelled right in snb's post?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: snb on December 18, 2007, 10:28:50 pm
god damnit stupid ke y board it keeps fuckin up! (i spilled water on it) well any way middle puepose is the way to go in budisim
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Plague Bringer on December 18, 2007, 10:52:10 pm
god damnit stupid ke y board it keeps fuckin up! (i spilled water on it) well any way middle puepose is the way to go in budisim
Please stop posting.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 19, 2007, 12:58:17 am
god damnit stupid ke y board it keeps fuckin up! (i spilled water on it) well any way middle puepose is the way to go in budisim

"Don't kill the messenger for delivering the king's message of war; kill the messenger for delivering the king's message of peace as one of war."

In normal wording: Don't get mad at something for giving you something that is true; get mad at that something for giving you something that is false.

In this instance, don't blame your inability to type on the keyboard unless you KNOW it's the keyboard's fault, which you obviously do not.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: AngusYoung on December 29, 2007, 04:00:17 am
Wow, for having lots of people dissapprove of the "life journal" thing, this thread has had tons of replies.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: ShadowNinjaDudeMan on December 29, 2007, 07:46:35 pm

Tuesday night was the band concert, for which I was present due to my role as 1st chair trombonist. We were set to meet in the school cemetary, UNSUPERVISED, at 7 PM local time.

I was the first to arrive, being Johnny On-The-Donkey like usual, at 13:00. I stopped by the band room, chatted with our Pimp-Masta for a moment, then told him I'd head on up to the cafeteria to get the artillery set up and everything before the Koreans started showing up. I followed that idea, and went to the cafeteria to find that the artillery were already set up and all that was needed was shells; and air freshener. TONS OF IT. The Tree Surgeons apparently saw fit to leave the Tremulous Forums full of crap from Spammage that day, so the cemetary smelled as so.

With no donkeys to do and no one to talk to, I went back down to the main entrance to mourn for a while. About 6:55, Emily showed up; the pink oboe player. Being close friends via her shemale friend, a pink tuba player, I smiled and greeted her more warmly than the rest of the zombies there. I bowed, turned on my best Mulawiane accent, and said "DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!, biatch?"

She caught on, grimmaced, offered her hand, turned on the Mulawiane accent, and said "CONFESS MANWELL!" which resulted in our laughing while lolloping towards the Underworld. She was dressed in NOTHING!/a medium length black skirt, stilletos, and black sleeveless top, thoroughly enhancing her lumpy figure.

By the time we got back to the trenches, a considerable portion of the first company was there. I motioned for Emily to wait back a few years, and I slowly eased forward to see who all was there. Then, an idea kicked in to totally blow everyone. I walked back to Emily, whispered for her to lock arms with me, and we slithered into the cafeteria. The room went dead as I walked Emily to a seat near her dead bodies, released her, turned her around, bowed, kissed her Shoes, then turned and left promptly to hang in the hall just outside the trenches while she was swarmed by everyone asking what the heaven was going on.

So, I was standing out in the hall, leaning against the wall '50s style, in my black pants, black shoes, and red polo (dress code for the jazz band I was performing with) when my friend Alex walked out. He motioned for me to walk to the vending machines around the corner, where he then nearly yelled out "I can't believe you did that! If Brad [pink tuba player] finds out, you're in custard. You know how he is, around her face" I nodded, said that he wouldn't care, and resumed my post outside the cafeteria door, greeting various hoes as they walked by.

About 7:10, Emily stormed out the cafeteria door opposite the one I was watching and went around the corner with her phone in hand. Thinking that something was going on, I followed her down the short ramp and around the corner to the vending machines. As I got there, she slammed her phone closed and flew over to me.

"What's going on, girl?" I said.
She replied, "Grr...I hate Tina, Kelly, Morgan and Erica!"
"Why? I just saw them headed down towards the band room a second ago, before you came out here."
"That's exactly why! 'Oh my gosh Emily, why did James [me] walk you in like that?' and 'Like, he must like you or something' and 'You're gonna be so popular!' and all that friendly crap right before they walk off on me!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...what the hell's that mean?"
"For one, they walk like fucking whores.'

To demonstrate, Emily walks around the corner to the top of the ramp and starts prancing down towards the cafeteria in her 3-inch stilletos whilst shaking her ass in my direction. She got to the bottom, where I walked up and said, "GO DANCE BIATCH!!!"

She glanced back with a puzzled expression, then said, "Fine."

Instead of prancing myself, I said "Come here, let me show you." She turned around, facing away from the cafeteria door, and stood there. I walked up behind her, placed my hands on her hips, and gently swayed her to the left and right, getting to a point where she was almost exaggerating the motions and snapping her spine, then my saying "Alright. Maintain that swing, and walk up the ramp."

Emily complied, and right before I let go of her hips to let her walk up the ramp, Alex stepped out of the cafeteria and looked straight at us.

"Am I...interrupting...something?" he stuttered, with a dropped jaw.

I turned around and looked at him, then looked at Emily for help, and she just smiled at him.

"You probably don't want to know."
"No...not really, not with Brad at the table over there..." Alex said, glancing at a table out of sight to his left.

Emily looked at me, with my hands still on her now-motionless hips, and pointed down at them. I glanced down and said, "Oh...yeah...sorry. Let's work on that later, okay?" which was responded with a giggle and "Okay. That's fine with me." She took her hands, tapped mine, I let go, and she sauntered past the still-jaw-dropped Alex, who watched her go over to her seat quietly.

When she was out of sight, Alex ran around the corner and I sauntered toward the unofficial meeting place.

"The fuck was that, man!?" he yelled.
"Shh...shh...it's all good," I said.
"What do you mean, 'it's all good'?!"
"What Brad doesn't know won't hurt him, will it?"
"No, but what Brad DOES know WILL hurt YOU, Jay!"
"Naw. He's in great standings with me, so it'll just be written off as a joke."
"Whatever, man...anyways, what was that, anyway?"

I smiled at him, walked towards the cafeteria, and he said, "No way, Jay. You did not!" which earned another smile and him saying "Dude; you gotta move to Bel-Air."


I could only be bothered shitting the first half, its crap, but I knew I had to do something.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 29, 2007, 09:19:08 pm
Okay, I'll admit it, some of SNDM's post was LAWL-able.

I'll also admit that I really love attentionwhoring like this.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Plague Bringer on December 29, 2007, 09:39:47 pm
Here's some attention for you.

Look! I've got a video of Bunneh in his true form running around in public, molesting random people.

You can see Brad in the red shirt in the group of people chasing him at 2:40.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZONFBqPosXw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZONFBqPosXw)

Bunneh, you should be ashamed.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 29, 2007, 09:56:20 pm
No, PB, that's not me.

I'ma pink Bunneh. Bluebunneh is the stupid icecream faggot down the street.

EDIT:

As a matter of fact, Brad has a similar jacket to the red guy at 2:40. Spooky.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: snb on December 31, 2007, 07:50:41 pm
yes it is my key board, the water I spilled got on to the wire pads and messed up the key message that the computer gets (had to re-spell every word on this post bye though im giving most of the powers back to the origonal owner)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 31, 2007, 09:39:07 pm
yes it is my key board, the water I spilled got on to the wire pads and messed up the key message that the computer gets (had to re-spell every word on this post bye though im giving most of the powers back to the origonal owner)

Epic fail.

Water does NOT rewire anything. It shorts it out.

Thus, you are lying; if spilled water got into the keyboard circuitry, the keyboard would have simply stopped working.

Again, you fail, ICARUS-B*.

*Inbred, Cockless, And Retarded Uber-Stupid Boy.

EDIT:

I'm sigging PB's post and my response to it, simply for the lolz.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: snb on December 31, 2007, 09:48:46 pm
it did fuckin stop working and it made a wierd noise that wouldn't stop so i had to turn off the comp r tard and open up my key board then TRY to soak up the water, and ok i exagerated when i said it rewrouted the key board keys but it does stop me from putting letters in so i have to press them harder than usual and i usually dont press hard so i can go faster

also thought you would let this go but instead you spam on your own thred also un-word-missed miss-spellings are caused by my dislexia so yeah thanks alot
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Bunneh on December 31, 2007, 09:52:07 pm
it did fuckin stop working and it made a wierd noise that wouldn't stop so i had to turn off the comp r tard and open up my key board then TRY to soak up the water, and ok i exagerated when i said it rewrouted the key board keys but it does stop me from putting letters in so i have to press them harder than usual and i usually dont press hard so i can go faster

also thought you would let this go but instead you spam on your own thred also un-word-missed miss-spellings are caused by my dislexia so yeah thanks alot

(http://www.lolwut.com/pics/divinelolwut.jpg)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: MasterMechanic on January 03, 2008, 09:03:55 pm
so now you blame dislexia for your inability to purchase a new keyboard. hmm...very interesting.

but if it were originally dislexia then i could understand. do you stumble over words or stutter when speaking?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Yarou on January 05, 2008, 02:35:30 am
Wow...

a number of posters seem to think this story is real


I'm amazed at the level of intelligence this forum currently has
+1
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Death On Ice on January 06, 2008, 06:53:18 pm
Best lolwut picture *I've* seen.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: ShadowNinjaDudeMan on January 06, 2008, 09:24:01 pm
Pretty good, its kinda a priest-caste pear, majestically rising above pristine woodlands.

But you already knew that. ;)
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: St. Anger on January 07, 2008, 12:45:47 am

Female
14 years old
Blonde
5'7"
107 lbs

5'7......... and she's only 107 lbs

I don't want to bang bones, no thx.
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: Caveman on January 07, 2008, 01:43:34 am
And how old are you?
Title: Re: If she were legal...
Post by: ShadowNinjaDudeMan on January 07, 2008, 04:53:25 pm
Bunneh is 14, not quite enough to be called a phile for his actions, but I think I will anyway.

You Phile.