Author Topic: trembattle:the aliens story  (Read 4916 times)

serve the overmind

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trembattle:the aliens story
« on: February 14, 2009, 03:12:44 am »
a story about the aliens side of the war :dretch:

Archangel

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Re: trembattle:the aliens story
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2009, 03:15:57 am »
DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN MY NAME IS GORDON FREEMAN I AM 30 WITH BROWN HAIR MY CORPORATION BEATS ME I LIVE UNDERGROUND WITH NO CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE I HAVE BAD EYES SO I WEAR GLASSES AND THERE ARE ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE I THINK EVERYONE IS DEAD IF YOU DON'T SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 THE ALIENS TAKE OVER I WILL RAPE YOU THIS IS NOT A JOKE ILL LET U USE THE GRAVITY GUN

serve the overmind

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Re: trembattle:the aliens story
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2009, 03:29:36 am »
chapter one.first contact:

The odd cruiser floated through space coming toward us without fear. the overmind :overmind: assigned to this quadrant had picked up signals coming from it and we were about to transmit back. the other Granger's :granger: moved around the cockpit of our interceptor cruiser and prepared the countdown to the contact. 3.2.1... open communications, the overmind said.

meanwhile on the human starship the communication screen flickered on. a horrible face appeared in it startling the humans. :dretch: it began to speak in a horrible low voice. "who are you" it said. one of the humans explained there race to the face all the while writing down attack orders to the imperial guns below. the weapons fired but the aliens sensing the attack tried to turn away. the plasma hit one of the engines and the ship careened wildly out of control, crashing into the humans and falling to the planet below.

CreatureofHell

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Re: trembattle:the aliens story
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2009, 08:42:50 am »
That was the worst chapter I have ever read...Some capital letters might help too
{NoS}StalKer
Quote
<Timbo> posting on the trem forums rarely results in anything good

Bissig

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Re: trembattle:the aliens story
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2009, 11:38:49 pm »
1. Aliens do NOT talk to humans
2. Aliens do NOT actively use or build spaceships or any other form of machinery
3. Take a writer class or read, read, read, so you can atleast tell apart whats good and whats bad after you have written it

For reference, a well written story:

http://tremulous.net/forum/index.php?topic=10430.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2009, 11:41:36 pm by Bissig »

Asvarox

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Re: trembattle:the aliens story
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2009, 10:11:24 pm »
Quote
1. Aliens do NOT talk to humans
om does! When it goes up.
I MINE FULL WEREWOLFES
NOT SUCH HIPPIE THINGS  >:(

nekronuke

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Re: trembattle:the aliens story
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2009, 10:19:06 pm »
ok, we all agree this has fail, but it has some win to it... try my story...