(This post completely ignores everything between here and tjw's post)
Well, I can understand that your kid's fun on your server is a higher priority that anyone else's. From a non-parent's perspective it's pretty frustrating to play with him, though. I know you say he doesn't tk much unless provoked but I've never played with him and not gotten shot. I don't mean loose aim crossfire, either. I'm talking about walking in front of you, turning around, taking aim and firing directly into your face.
I don't expect, nor am I asking for, any changes. I mean, it's your server and your kid, right? - you can do whatever you like with both. Just thought you might appreciate a player's perspective.
On the up side, I've found some other servers that work pretty well.