CLASSIFIED ADVERTISMENTS

[Supertanker]

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=  The Weekly Snark  =
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...said the man, who witnessed the entire event.
"I tell you," he said, waving his arms wildly,
"It was the biggest noodle I've ever seen!"

~Jonathan Smith, Field Reporter

[[ CLASSIFIEDS ]]

HAVE SPACESUIT. WILL TRAVEL.
Seasoned and skilled traveler. Extremely adept at
killing alien scum. Will save your universe
free-of-charge if sufficiently satirical and witty
companion/sidekick is included. CONTACT:
s-Tanker.11776428984@MilkyWay.GalSpiralArm445.ThreeG

LOOKING FOR A MERCENARY?
I offer extremely low hourly rates.
Familiar with all Human weaponry.
I am so good I don't need references!
Emergency cloning equipment required for
employment. CONTACT:
i4m1337@Andromeda.GalSpiralArm332.ThreeG

WANT TO MAKE MONEY FAST?
Get the CASH YOU DESERVE, FAST! KhalsaCola
vendors are among the fastest-growing trends
of the spaceways--don't get left behind!
It's simple! Just put a KhalsaCola machine in
your space station or starship, and the money
makes itself! Contact for franchise information.
CONTACT:
Sales.3345@KhalsaColaCorp.GalSpiralArm43.ThreeG

I WRITE BOOKS!
Sci-fi isn't dead yet! Sure, we've got starships,
but they're not nearly as cool as the ones I have
in my books! I accept very low commission rates.
Fantasy/Non-Fiction is within my realm as well.
Any mention of Twilight will have you ejected
from my presence in short order.
CONTACT:
supertanker13@gmail.york

[[ POLITICS ]]

SIR NEWBLARK GIGGLEDEBIDDLE INSULTED IN PUBLIC

"You, sir, have a bigger head than a tyrant!"
The shout could be heard clear across the dinner hall at...

[more]
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[Winnie the Pooh]

 

Any mention of Twilight will have you ejected
from my presence in short order.

[KamikOzzy]

Have these been easter egg'd into a map yet? =D