Update: The sequel to the Alien Camp can be found here http://tremulous.net/forum/index.php?topic=13243.0
I would like to thank everyone for their support thus far. From the littlest feedback to the major details, you all have helped me make TAC series what it is today. I apologize for the long time gaps, and will continue to work on the series so long as people show interest in it, otherwise, posting it on here with lack of demands would be a waste of space. Thank you all, and I love you! In every manner of the word! My room, 10 minutes, be there!This is a tale of an alien team fighting off a camping human team. In this story, is the Tyrant whom takes things far too seriously, the Granger who always keeps an upside attitude despite his mistakes, the Marauder who is a worry wart, the Dretch who never touches the ground, the Dragoon who loses his temper far too easily, an overmind who thinks he is a god, and the Basilisk who is just plane insane. An experienced Granger arrives to the call of a somewhat attention whorish overmind calling for backup.Granger: Hey guys!
Tyrant, Marauder, dretch: *Sigh* Hi granger...
Granger: Say, where's the Basilisk?
Tyrant:*points over to a hallway full of gas*
Granger: Jeez, what happened here?
Marauder: The humans were camping on the other end of the hallway, the Basilisk got pissed off and just leeroy'd the hallway, ripping one every 5 seconds. The entire time he yelled something involving them and Richard Simmons that i dare not repeat. One of you may be offended by Richard Simmons.
Granger: Did he return yet?
Tyrant: No, and if you ask me, he's gonna get us all killed.
Dretch: How can he get us all killed if he is not anywhere near us?
Tyrant: Easy for you to say you ____ing dretch, if i could crawl on the ceiling i'm pretty sure i'd be safe too.
Marauder: Are you telling me that I won't be safe if i can't climb on walls?
Granger: Okay guys lets just calm down. Tell me, are the defenses of the granger before me still up?
Tyrant: Well yeah, and they've actually worked pretty well thus far.
Human:*trips over berricade, face lands in acid tube*
Tyrant: See?
Granger: If our defenses are still up, I think we should search for the Basilisk.
Dretch: I have been worried about him myself, he has not come back yet.
Overmind: The overmind is wake!
Tyrant: overmind, shut the hell up, nobody cares about you.
Granger: Hey dretch, can you go check in the vents and see if any hostilities are outside?
Dretch: As long as i don't touch the ground... I'm good.
Dretch:*Skitters through vent and sees nothing* The coast is clear guys!
Tyrant:Hmmm.... Marauder, you go out in the hallway and check.
Marauder: What!?
Tyrant: I'm the muscle, Granger is the builder, dretch is in the vent. Aside from the overmind, you're the second most useless team member thus far.
Marauder: Wouldn't it be more sensible if you did it?
Tyrant: If something happens to me, the team is screwed... do you want the team to lose?
Marauder: Well, no, but I....
Tyrant: Then Go!
Marauder: Pray to the admins... that I survive.
Marauder: *hesitantly but gradually walks out while whimpering.*
Tyrant: *facepalms* At this pace we're going to get nowhere!
Marauder: Hold your horses alright! It's dark...
Granger: Psst... Tyrant... I have an idea. *whispers idea into Tyrants ear*
Tyrant: *emits a sinister grin and lets out a loud thundering roar*
Marauder: HOLY SHI-*Electricity engulfs the hallway from the Marauder*
Tyrant: There... Happy? Whatever was in the hallway is dead. Now lets go!
Dretch: Wait for me! *jumps on top of Tyrant*
Marauder: *crying*
Tyrant: Suck it up ya panzy!
Not too far down the hallway, the aliens run into a group of humans. Two humans are talking.Human1: Hey, i did some research on why the cubs keep losing.
Human2: Because the herpes that your mom gave them is painful enough to make them hesitate at swinging the bat?
Human1: Dammit Markus, why is it always mom jokes with you?
Human2: Fine, go ahead.
Human1: Apparently a gypsy with a goat tried going into the game, and they wouldn't let him in so he cursed them.
Human2: I don't believen curses.
Human1: You don't believen anything do you?
Human2: Nope?
Human1: What about... heaven?
Human2: Oh jeez, not this again.
Granger: the humans seem distracted. I'll try and sneak by first.
Marauder: You said that there was no humans in the hallway Tyrant!
Tyrant: I lied.
Granger:*attempts to sneak by the humans*
Human1: Hey, look over there!
human2: Oh my god, it's so cute! Come over here little fella!
Granger: *Looks back at the other aliens hiding in the shadows and shrugs then walks over to the humans*
Human1: *Pats the granger* Aww you're a fat one aren't ya! Yesh you are! you're a fatty! Does the plump little alien want a treat?
Granger:*Gets frustrated and uses the granger taunt*
Human2: AWWWW! Did you hear that!
human1: I sure did :3
Granger: *Now deeply frustrated, he fires a shot of granger spit at human2*
Human2: HEHEHE! that tickled!
Granger:*Plots an idea*
Granger:*Turns around and makes suspicious movements*
Granger:*turns back to the humans*
Humans: I wanna keep him!
Granger:*Fires poisonous spitball at human1*
Human1:Ouch, OUCH! OUCH! Oh my God run!
Granger:*Fires at human2*
Human2: OUCH! OH god my arm is on fire! Okay I believen heaven, wait up!
Tyrant: Nice shooting buddy! Not bad for a combat granger.
Strange voice: You stole my kills you worthless pile of dog s___!
Marauder:*Shaking uncontrollably*
Strange voice: *Walks out of the shadows to reveal a dragoon*
Dragoon: I swear, i'm going to shoot a barbed spitball so far up your a__ you'll be coughing up spikes for a week!
Granger: Ummmm... *fires spitball at Dragoon*
Dragoon: *Fires barbed spitball at granger*
Granger: Ouch! That really hurt!
Tyrant: Hey, leave our granger alone!
Dragoon: Tyrant... we meet again.
Tyrant: I suppose so...
Granger: What's going on?
Dretch: A while back Tyrant and Dragoon got into an argument of who was the better alien. Each have different qualities, but they felt the need to try and be the best.
Tyrant: Stick close to me Granger, after all, nearby aliens get INCREASED HEALING when near me!
Dragoon: Well i know something that you can't do...
Tyrant: what's that?
Dragoon: *fires spiked spitball into Tyrant's face and leaps onto upper platform*
Tyrant: Oh! you son of a b____!
Dragoon: Later retards, I got a kill score to boost up.
Tyrant: Dragoon would have to be the hugest asshole on this planet!
Marauder: SHHH! he might still be able to hear you!
Granger: We gotta hurry, Basilisk might be dead!
Overmind: The overmind is under attack!
Tyrant, Grounger, Dretch, Marauder: Shut up, we can build another one!
Hysterical Laughter can be heard at the aliens end of the hallway with a series of flatus noisesCrazy laughter: I'm going to kill all of you! Every single one of you!
Tyrant: That voice... it's coming from inside the base!
The alien team rush to their base to find Basilisk strangling a human with his tail.Basilisk: EVERY F___ING ONE OF YOU! I WILL GUT ALL OF YOU! BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Granger: Holy S___ dude...
Tyrant: Ummm...
Marauder: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Dretch: Wow...
Basilisk: Oh! Hey guys! you arrived just in time for dinner!
Granger: Where were you?
Basilisk: I'm like the shadows... yeaaah.. the shadows... I creep through them, i kill anything that threatens me. I was camping the ceiling spamming my gas attack on passing humans but when i saw the base was under attack, i came here, and raped everything.
Overmind: I am a GOD!
Basilisk: I've seen God and you look NOTHING LIKE HIM!
A second dretch shoots from an egg on the ceiling. Tyrant: oh... well look who it is... Combat log says that Dragoon felt the full effect of XXpwnageXX's lucifer cannon... what does that mean? Is that good?
Dragoon/New Dretch: Screw you, one more evo and i'll be a Dragoon again! *walks out the sliding door*
Granger: Wait... Lucifer cannons?
Tyrant: Marauder.. go check it out.
Marauder: *sigh*.... okay...
Marauder: *trips over booster and opens door with face*
Tyrant: Good job Marauder! Hmmm... at the end of the hallway, I see... a big assed human...
Armored Human: Come on! *Fires Lucifer blast at the doorway*
All aliens at once: AHHHHHHH!
Overmind: Overmind is-
Tyrant: SHUT UP!
the door closes just as the lucifer blast was making its way to the door.Marauder: We lost! it's over! Game over man, game over!
Granger: What do we do now?
Tyrant: Only one thing left to do... Granger, crawl on the wall, surround the door with acid tubes and hives. Dretch, go into the vent and keep a lookout for more in the other hallway. Marauder.... be useful or something. As for me *Underlines eyes with booster poison, voice gets serious* I'm going rambo on them.
Granger: Umm... did you just underline your eyes with booster poison?
Tyrant:....I can't see anymore... but i'm still a badass...
Chapter 2: DEFENSE DEFENSE DEFENSE!The alien base is under attack, and all of the aliens (Except for marauder whom is in a state of panic and the overmind whom is a total douche and is avoiding being teamkilled merely because they need him) are doing everything they can in their power to keep the humans from entering the base and destroying their home! 15 minutes have passed since Tyrant underlined his eyes with Booster Poison. He has regained his ability to see and is quite satisfied with Granger, Basilisk, and Dretch. Tyrant, giving direct orders, has assigned everyone to do what they can.
Marauder: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm gonna die!
Granger: I've coated the top of the door and the sides of the door with acid tubes. They'll never be able to get in without getting melted!
Door opens, grenade lands right in front of the door from the inside exploding and destroying all the acid tubes.Granger: ...
Tyrant: Well, damn...
Dretch: Basilisk! Time to switch to plan B!
Basilisk: *cackling manically*
granger: *Whispers to Tyrant* Tyrant, Basilisk freaks me the hell out.
Tyrant: I know Granger... I know.
The room shakes from continuous blasts from lucifer cannons.Basilisk: I'm going to rip open their bodies and strangle them with their intestines, while whipping them with their spinal cord and-
Marauder: How can you do that!? You don't even have thumbs!
Basilisk: *Slowly turns his head over to Marauder*
Marauder: On second thought, thumbs are SO overrated!
Tyrant: Basilisk, hurry now!
Basilisk quickly slips out the door, and runs over to the group of humans while crawling on the ceiling.Human1: Come on!
Human2: Come on!
Human3: Come on!
Human2: Come on!
Human1: Okay hold on a second guys!
Human3: Come on!
Human1: HOLD IT!
Humans 2 and 3: ....
Human1: All we've been doing is shooting at the door yelling "Come on" over and over and over again... is that ALL we're capable of?
Humans 2 and 3: ....
Human1: Instead of spamming "Come On" shouldn't we be trying to infiltrate their base?
human3: In the assholes manual, section 4, subsection 3, it clearly states that if we are in a hallway that does not have jetpack camping capabilities, we need to camp the main doorway and spam "Come On" until one of them gets pissed off enough to come out and try and be a hero.
human1: But we can't stay here all day! What if we need to go back to the base and get some supplies? You guys are shooting aimlessly at the door! You've gotta be outta ammo soon.
Human3: That's why we called our engineer here! He's going to build an armory and a ton of turrets aiming at the front door.
Engineer: Did someone call?
Human3: Build us an armory please.
Engineer: Right on it! Building a dispenser!
human3: .... Please don't say that.
Basilisk has crawled right over them, a sinister grin forms on his face. As all the humans are readily camping the front door, basilisk drops down on top of the armory.Basilisk: LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!
All humans: AAAHHHHH!
Engineer: Turret going up!
Basilisk: *unleashes his gas, weakening all the humans.*
Human1: Oh god! I can actually taste it! Oh my god!
Basilisk: Now Tyrant!
Tyrant: *Rushes out the door, slashing up all the humans.*
All of the humans in the hall are currently dead, but a thought enters Tyrants mind. Where was the armored human from before?Granger: We did it! We warded off all the humans!
Marauder: *Rushes out the front door* FINALLY! we're safe! we're safe! we're-
Armored Human: Come on! *Fires lucifer blast*
Marauder: FOLY HUCK!
Tyrant: *Gets between the human and Marauder, taking the lucifer blast directly.*
Tyrant: Get back in the base you useless pile of shi-
Overmind: The overmind is superio-
All aliens: Shut the hell up!
Granger: *Fires a spitball at the Armored Human* Get Tyrant Inside! Take him next to the overmind! He'll heal faster!
Tyrant: I'd be more comfortable shoving a firecracker into my reproductive canal than stand next to that douche...
Marauder: *Drags Tyrant back into the base, and sits him next to the overmind*
Tyrant: I'm going to team kill you so hard...
The armored human is now persuing Granger. Granger desperately does serpentine movements on the walls and ceilings, barely dodging lucifer blasts as Basilisk tries to catch up.
Marauder: What are we going to do!? If Granger dies, we lose our builder, and we'll be doomed! doomed! DOOMED!
Tyrant: Shut up marauder! Dretch, are you still in the ventilation?
Dretch: Yes, and the roof of the ventilation to be exact!
Tyrant: Follow Granger through the vents!
Dretch travels through the vents following the Armored Human, Basilisk, and Granger.Dretch: They're heading into the secondary corridor!
Armored Human: Damn Granger! Stop moving!
Granger: *Jumping up and down making purring noises in hopes of dodging attacks*
Armored Human: Awww! He's so cute! I'll give him a 5 second head start!
Basilisk: *Jumps on the Armored Humans back* Suprise Buttsecks!
Armored Human: Ah! Get it off of me! Get it off!
Basilisk: *Unleashes Gas*
Armored Human: *Grabs Basilisk by the tail and throws him on the ground*
Basilisk: Do your worst you filthy, dirty, pile of shi-
Armored Human: *Fires a light lucifer blast at basilisk*
Basilisk: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
Dretch: Granger got away, but Basilisk took a shot from the lucifer cannon!
Tyrant: The poor... crazy... bastard.
Overmind: The overmi-
Tyrant: Do you ever shut the hell up?
Overmind: I have feelings too you know!
The Armored Human arrives in a dark room stacked with crates. Looking around, Granger has hidden somewhere.Armored Human: Where are you?
Granger: At your moms house!
Armored Human: *Fires lucifer Cannon blasts frantically* MOM JOKES ARE OVERUSED PUNK!
Granger: If i can just lure him into the next room without being turned to dust....
Granger tries to sneak over to the next doorway, just barely keeping himself visible. The Armored Human chases after him, in another persuit.
Granger: Come on, just a little further!
Dretch: Granger is trying to lure the human into the trapped room!
The human approaches the room as acid tubes go off in advance, giving away the trap.Granger: Dammit!
Armored Human: Nice try you cute, soft, cuddly alien. You are left with two choices. Either die, or become my pet and deconstruct your overmind!
Granger: *Fires spitball at the Armored Humans face*
Armored Human: Gah! You little punk.
As the Armored Human begins to raise and charge his lucifer cannon, he hears a stuttering voice from behind him. "H-hey! y-you j-jerk!"
Armored Human: *Turns Around*
Marauder: T-Taste, electric j-justice! *Unleashes an electrical charge on the armored human*
Dragoon: DIE FOOL! *Lunges at the Armored Human, knocking him through the doorway.*
The Armored Human is killed almost instantly by the tubes and trapper.Tyrant: I heard a scream. What just happened?
Dretch: The question is, from this angle, and the circumstances, would you believe me?
Granger: Marauder! You're not a pussy anymore!
Marauder: While I was taking Basilisk to the overmind, Dragoon showed up and insulted me numerous times! I told him what was happening so he offered to help.
Dragoon: The fact that Tyrant is down and healing, and I am here and saving the day and all, i couldn't resist an opportunity to make Tyrant look like a pansy!
Granger: Was that the whole team? I am still sensing more humans.
at the end of the hallway, 8 humans can be seen marching twords Dragoon, Marauder, and Granger.All humans: COME ON!
Marauder: Oh SHI-
