Actually, the Gauss Streamer calculates the probability that the target is overawed by its prosaic appearance, and derives the function for how long he'll stand there, based on previous motion-captured alien reactions during the beta-testing phase, which tended to cluster around the "zomg!" variable. Using the probability density function of "wtf" responses, when considered in light of an algorithm which follows the "typical strafing pattern" cumulative distribution function, most testers were zapped when the unit overloaded, as they couldn't take their eyes off of the giant, slow-moving projectile, zapping everything in its path with electric blue flames, and causing time dilation for nearby users.