Short Stories By BlackX32

[BlackX32]

This topic will be all about short stories that suddenly come to mind for me. They will not be planned out as well as my other work but instead a free-form on idea type. If something takes off I'll make a sequel or something about it. If it really takes off with people wanting more I'll make a new post about it. So say what you like in a comment. Enjoy.

[BlackX32]

A New Breed

"We have finally captured a specimen of the alien species. With this we have discovered their DNA code is very unlike anything we have ever seen. It's unstable but under control so they can change when they get a gene added from the Overmind that they are related to. We call this code TUS." The Doc went on and on until I heard something I was interested in. "With us being able to control this TUS we can control the beast themselves and change them. All it needs is a sample of DNA from another creature and it can morph itself to fit it's shape. Now with this-" We heard an explosion. The door then cracked and dented. We all moved back. I grabbed my rifle. Something let out a terrifying scream then gunfire. The door slammed open with the beast.

The beast looked like a Tyrant with a long spiked whipping tail. "WHO ADDED THE DNA TO IT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION DAMNMIT?!" It then looked at Doc who had shouted that. It shot spikes at the poor man. Then it jumped out a window onto a beach. It found a crab and stabbed it with it's sharp arm. The crab began shriveling up and then turned to dust. It's arm grew a claw. It's body turned into a more armored, crablike figure. It ran off.

I ran the Doc. "What have you done?!" "We altered it's TUS to be able to absorb the DNA of other things. It can then change it's own TUS to alter it's body to look like the object or add things the DNA had in it." " Please kill it if possible." "Doc? NO DOC YOU CAN'T DIE!"

The beast was coming back. Up the wall. But this time it had a head with fangs like a spider, head of a lizard, tail of a scorpion that seamed to be able to move more than it should, and everything it had earlier. I shot at it with my rifle and it didn't seem to phase it. It grabbed me with it's claw. Then I saw it's fangs and tail getting ready to strike with spikes ready to launch. I was a dead man already. A quick sharp pain shot through me and everything went white. I was gone forever.

[BlackX32]

Forget a clan. They shit man. Oh but if a clan wants help with a war or a fight I'll be happy to help if the cause is good enough.

[BlackX32]

I thought of this one while I was getting ready for my friend. Won't be a long one though.

The Cold Side of Heat

It was so cold in this place. So cold. But a fire brewed. Finally some of the humans were getting cold. Me a dretch stuck up in the air ducts were the humans rarely checked for us. Most of the time radar helmets or whatever they called them would pick us up here. But the kind of metal that they used up to change the temps more quickly blocked out all the signals.

"Number 3279 have you had any progress on finding a place for me to settle?"

"Overmind I told you there's a huge bowl of some sort in the vents where they can't tell we're there and we can fit many aliens to over run them."

"Ok then but then we need a granger to get in there and start transferring my mind into a new Overmind. Head towards the location I will drop a granger down there."

I did what the Overmind told me. It was a long way off from where I was but I made it. That granger had apparently found an outside vent to crack open then seal again so the humans wouldn't even notice.

"Number 3279 the Overmind has ordered me to tell you that you will be leading this attack. Your new name will be Order 1267."

Great I got promoted. There weren't that many Orders so I felt somewhat proud. At least I started as just a number the middle rank. Regular soldiers. I could've been a lest which were low builders.

We got the Overmind there and he built an egg. Then two. And so on. There was no need for many acid tubes as this place was so easily defendable a lone granger could do it. We had many soldiers at the ready all different ranks but I the only tyrant. We went into the tiny vents taking the route I had taken back to base earlier.

I barely fit but once we got into five groups we all found openings in the vents we dropped through and began the attack. There were more than we thought there were. They some how found out about us. Of course. The dead granger that was near an exit in the vents. The humans came up for maintenance.

I just decided to attack and get as many of them down. After about twenty I was getting tired. I splattered blood all over the wall with five of them. But then I felt a sharp pain shoot through me. Something just burst through me with great heat. The heat I loved was killing me. Las guns shot at me and burst holes in me with my blood splattering against the wall. The heat killed me. No that wasn't what killed me. It was the cold side of heat that killed me.

[BlackX32]

this forum seems quiet and i want more feedback on whats good and whats not. this way i can keep people happy with my work.

[blazecon0]

alright, i will teach you one of my greatest tricks, punctuation. i know you have read my stories, so you have seen the way they flow. that is make possible using this (.) this (,) this (: ) and this bad boy (; ) love it ^^
reread your work, when you hit a point were you naturally pause, use this (,) when you complete a thought use this(.) when you complete a scene, hit enter. don't worry about this guy (; ) he takes skill to use. (it basically is a comma and a conjunction put together)
also i think i should talk about rereading. when you finish a paragraph, read it again. adjust wording, fix mistakes, make it flow better using thos tricks ↑ add details, and work on it until it is PERFECT. also try not to rush. i'm not a very patient guy, but this is some thing even i must relax and take my time with. i hoped i helped, you got a good imagination, all you need is a little know-how ↑↑↑↑
gl, and enjoy your writing

[BlackX32]

that's what my art teachers used to say. that i got one of the best imaginations they've ever seen. oh and those stories i'm not really going to tinker with because they are just meant to be one shot but some can be made in to many like the first one. the second one..... not so much

[blazecon0]

nah i just meant for future stories. id leave what you have

[BlackX32]

alright cool

[BlackX32]

This one is going to be short and it's was inspired by something that I just read in a comment.

Feedback

Working on machines all the time is tiring work. Now when you have a guy who's more popular and does the samething it gets hard. The doors opened and I new who it was before I even looked up.

"Steve get outta here before I use that new gun of mine against you."

"Damn Bill you haven't changed a bit."

"I'll tell you once I'll tell you again, get the hell outta here."

"Bill calm yourself down man."

I grabbed the gun sitting on my desk and pointed right at him. The gun had a saftey on it not to shoot at a human. Or at least not to hurt them badly.

"Alright man I'll lay off."

"That's what I thought. You came in here to bash another one of my inventions."

"No but I thought I might just make fun of one."

"Do whatever you want but I'll just ignore you and once my new invention comes out you'll be shiting yourself."

After that day Steve never bothered me again. And when my new inetion did come out he did shit himself.

Now I know this one isn't that good but it's meant to help one of my friends in Tremulous. I'm sure he'll know who he is once he reads it.

[blazecon0]

XD
next time i see you on trem im givin you all my creds XD

[BlackX32]

I just want to know why hardly anybody comments on here. i want feedback so i can make my stories better and more exciting.

[BlackX32]

Road Trip of Death and Horror

The truck that was built not to bump and all that other crap did it again. It wasn't the truck's fault though. It was the driver's.

"Gosh dammit Phil stop driving into every bump on this cursed road."

"Jeez Craig, lighten up."

"Just keep your eyes on the road."

Phil drove into another bump on the road.I, Craig, just growled that time but he was irritated. They were testing a new truck that was meant to drive through all kinds of things even the aliens' creep. This truck was doing fine until Phil got to getting kind of crazy.

"Phil keep your eye on the- PHIL STOP!"

Then truck crashed into a tree, with a huge KABANG.

"Phil come on old pal make it, no buddy NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I grabbed some guns from the back, put them on my back, and tried to make it to where we were headed. I got out of the truck and started walking in the direction we were headed. I walked at least half a mile before I saw anything going on. Just then I saw some creep growing out of a wall. Shit they were all the way out here. I shrugged and started to walk through some bushes to try and keep out of sight.

I walked another mile and saw what looked like an Overmind. I quickly got on the other sided of the road to try and keep away from it. Then I sat down to look at my map. According to it i had another five miles to go before the base. Then i saw a green thing that looked like a granger. It had it's back turned so I took out my combat knife and stabbed it right between it's head and back. then head fell off. According to experiments the brain of a granger was in it's back not it's head. So this way it couldn't signal the others.

I walked half way there by now and stepped into an alien trap. They had know about me all along just to set up this trap. A marauder jumped at me and started slashing at me. My rifle took it out with a clip. Reloaded. A basilisk jumped at my back and grabbed me. I fell over to smash it then it jumped off and I shot it. Then i saw a huge wave of brown. A dretch rush. I took out my las gun to take them out quick. I got about twenty out before they got to me. I was in the middle of them all biting me. If it wasn't for my nonworking helmet and armour they would've killed me by now. But then I Got to the edge and threw a grenade in there. When i got into the base i was covered in alien blood, my blood, and a ripped shirt. I looked outside in the bulletproof window to see all the blood everywhere. The medics patched me up in a few days and I was an armoured truck driver from now on. I was in my own place of comfort.

[DeathSkull]

I just want to know why hardly anybody comments on here. i want feedback so i can make my stories better and more exciting.

Mainly because we've seen a lot of dribble-drabble stories on here. In other words, they're either extremely simple and not written all that well, or they're outright horrible and mostly written for the lulz. Persistence pays off though, so try and write more often, write longer stories (your stories are what we call short shorts, which is generally a story so short there's pretty much nothing to it), and give the tales you write some sort of intro, middle, and end. They obviously have some vague notion of what I last mentioned, but barely.

What I'm saying is: there's no meat to what you write. The things you post here... it's akin to doodling on a notepad and then trying to put it in a famous art gallery. No one wants to really see it, let alone step up and examine your work. The reason people like playerone or myself actually get responses is because we're writing with intent of using our talent for the greater good and entertaining our audience.

If you want tips, just examine one of my tip offering posts elsewhere, because it'd pretty much apply here too.

Good luck in the future,

Death

[BlackX32]

alright thanks man

[BlackX32]

alright guys i've decided that i'm no longer going to write stories in this forum. the two that i have started i am going to finish and that will be the end of it. i am saying if i can get enough people though to say that they like my work within the next 2 weeks i will stay and continue. the number will be 25. if somebody thinks that is too many please tell me and i might change it. my skill isn't good enough here. there are many great writers already in this forum so it does not need another person. it also does not need a person bringing it's quality down.

                                                                                                               Finished Writer-
                                                                                                                                    BlackX32
P.S. Death this has nothing to do with what you said about my stories. do not feel bad thinking this was your fault. i was thinking about doing this for a week now. Oh and it's somewhat the way this forum works that drove me away. Everytime i get to a certain point it starts going back to the top everytime i type something. That's a part of why my stories were so short.

[DeathSkull]

I think you ought to reconsider your leaving. PlayerOne is long gone, and mooseberry is... wherever he is. Besides myself, I think the only other highly regarded writer left is probably Supertanker, and I have no idea where he is. A lot of the people who had potential, like catusfrog, have vanished... and all the others who have decent attempts out there (like Spork and HamStar and Blaze and yourself) post sparingly so we don't get to see much of what they can do. It gets boring when I look around and see such few attempts at serious yet enjoyable writing.

I think your biggest problem here is typing your stories into the posts themselves. Go here:

http://download.openoffice.org/index.html

and download it. I use that to write my stories out, then save them to my computer. When I'm done, I just copy the text and paste it right into a blank post. If there's places where I use Italics or Bold, I set it accordingly and post the chapter/story.

Don't be discouraged because you start out with very small posts. My first story, The Harder They Fall, began as a simple 1,000 word or so short story that was never meant to continue. I ended up going on with it and by the time I'd reached the end, I was at almost 30,000 words total and I'd established myself as a writer on these forums. We all start somewhere Black, and don't shy away from what sounds like negative criticism. We all have to step up to the plate someday and better our game.

Hope you stick around, but if not, it was nice having you here.

-Death

[BlackX32]

I have microsoft word would that work? If so i might stay. PLus my stories will be longer and better because I have so much in my mind but like i said these dad gum forums anoy me so much i just always have cut them shorter than i would like. I will stay and use microsoft word i guess. so get ready for some awsome stories. oh and this place will be turned a place fr people to chat about my stories which i will now post on other topics instead of this one. Thanx Death for the tip on copying and pasting. XD

[DeathSkull]

Yep, Word will work as well.

Looking forward to seeing what you can do!

[BlackX32]

Alright guys if you haven't noticed yet alien side chapter 3 is now up.

[BlackX32]

just forget those other stories i started up. i might randomly pick somebody to finish those. but just watch out i have a few new bright ideas and sooner or later (hopufully first one) i will post previews or trailers on this topic. so be on the lookout. some might be just what your looking out for.