A major research institution has just announced the
discovery of the densest element yet known to
science.
The new element has been named "Bushcronium."
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dark forces
called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".
Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as
morons randomly interact with various elements in the
atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons
in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass".
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium
activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates
orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent
noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many
morons.
