This is not a request to be flamed, or get into an OS war, but to really get some questions answered.
Good luck with that

I'll try to answer the parts that I can....
OK, on to the Internet. Firefox detects everything and poof, I am on the net. Great! I decide to try an .mp3 off my website that I had recorded. No luck. It uses Movieplayer, but needs a decoder. Hmmm? What's that all about?
There are patent issues surrounding shipping MP3 decode/encode software in binary form. You need to install these separately. This goes for DVD playback too - you need to install the CSS cracker. Google for libdvdcss for this.
I look around the net and they say one of the more popular players to use is XMMS, so off to their site. Hmmm- There is no download with a double click to install. They say I need to install and compile a series of libraries. (I remember this from before.) Arrrru? What? Dependencies are not handled automatically? According to XMMS, I have to install and compile ALSA, Esound, Mikmod, Ogg Vorbis, and Open GL. Granted, some of these may already be on the machine after installation of Ubuntu, but how would I know which? Why aren't they detected?
WTF? Ubuntu doesn't have XMMS packaged?
XMMS is similar to WinAmp classic.
My choices to the XMMS download are a .gz and a .bz2. And I would know how to use which one? I choose .gz. It downloads in archive Manager, then sits there in a window. No directions. No description on the window as to what I have open. Hmmmm- I choose "Extract" and I get a tarball in my tmp folder. And I do what with that? Double clicking bring the message it cannot be displayed. Hmmmm-
.gz and .bz2 are extensions for Gzip and Bzip2 respectively. These are two file compression systems, bzip2 is preferred by most nowadays. Were the files called XMMS-[something].src.tar.bz2? These are often source code tarballs and need to be compiled. I'd try looking for a packaged ubuntu version. I'd be surprised if there isn't one out there...
Then there is
/configure
make
make install
(Huh!?)
This is the normal sequence of commands to install software from source code. The ./configure runs a script to generate makefiles, then make and make install build and install the software.
Don't worry, these l33t 5k1lz0Rz will come in time

As well as a ton of other command line stuff. What's that all about? I thought the days of Linux command line are over. Again, Hmmm-
Heh, people wish....
I tried to do two things and was stymied in confusion by both.
I started with mandrake 8.0 - I had to type commands just to mount a CD-ROM or a floppy disc. Very kinky.
Now there are those that are going to say "What a total noob."
!mute !kick !ban

There is indeed a small but noisy minority in the "holier than thou" camp, just !kick them on sight...
And with Linux, you would probably be correct. Please, don't you look like a jerk, save the flames. But it is because of Linux that I am a noob. I am considered extremely advanced with Windows and Windows networking. I would like nothing more than to be comfortable with all aspects of Linux, but they make it so convoluted and difficult to work with. Mac OS 10 is different from Windows, but I don't fight it like I do Linux. I read so many articles of people predicting the rise and eventual popularity of Linux compared to Windows. I truely think they are dreaming based on what I see.
Linux is still harder to use than windows in many areas. It's been five years since I ditched windows all together, and that statement is still true for the casual desktop user, even though each of those years was meant to be "the year of the Linux desktop".
Now I please ask the diehard Linux users not to go off the deep fanboy end of things defending their OS of choice, but to rationally explain to me why I should continue to fight and struggle Linux installations that I can see no benefit to.
I know how you feel. Personally, I'd use both (dual boot or something) and migrate from one to the other in stages. It was nearly two years from the point that I first installed Linux (and thought "this is crap!") to the point that I had no reason to keep windows.
The two systems are still very different, and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I had to do allot of penguin wrestling in the early days too, but that was because I was a n00b.
windows -> linux still isn't something that happens overnight, and the advantages of windows -> linux didn't become apparent to me for some months. May the penguins be with you.
http://www.linuxquestions.org/ - good place to ask questions without being flamed