Oh those poor, poor ball-mice. I tried to learn to Quake after I'd already Unreal'd and Tribed. I beat them into submission for hours at a time, but at least I beat Q3a, which I cannot say for the first UT (I got so sick of that game and the stupid mouthy bots saying the same thing over and over again - how freaking boring; at least against actual virtual opponents they can occasionally say something more intelligent than OMGHAXimissedmyjumpROFL). Quake was much more brown/yellow/orange and somehow less claustrophobic, while UT was all lime/purple/cyan and the same/same/same. So don't look in there. Those input devices died a long-overdue death at the hand of a non-knowing n00b.
*PlayerOne closes drawer
I'd like to propose a Deus Ex virtual forty be poured on the metaphorical curb for all the little meeses, that had to go out like that...