Tremulous: The Harder They Fall

[your face]

great story, keep up the good work. <3

[khalsa]

When can we expect the next story?

[DeathSkull]

Well...

SOON



I'm currently reworking this story as we speak, editing bits and pieces and whatnot. I've already finished the first chapter, which you may view and comment on:

http://revanjast.deviantart.com/art/The-Harder-They-Fall-Chap-1-130852563

You can post your comments here

Thank you all again for taking the time to read and comment! Every bit helps me ^_^

-Death

[N.U.K.E.]

I'm gonna say this yet again, but you should at least try finding a publisher. You have some serious talent there, and I enjoyed every word of it.

[DeathSkull]

Thank you, NUKE. I'm definitely considering the idea. I've RPed for the last 3 years off and on, so it's helped my writing skills, plus I'm a huge bookworm (well, sorta). I'm honestly rather surprised at all the positive responses for this, since its the first real writing project I've ever done (and completed ).

Once again, thank you all.

>>

<<

You might wanna keep an eye on your local bookstore, cause you never know... 

-DeathSkull

[Jedarus]

You might wanna keep an eye on your local bookstore, cause you never know... 

-DeathSkull

who knows, deathskull could be the next asimov/arthur c. clarke

[Avenger2150]

Hello !
I have read the story for the first to the last chapter.
I got to say you have a really creative,original and spiritfull
mind ! You had gave this story alot but ALOT of emotion,thought
and realism. I enjoyed reading this and imagining a movie out of it
in my head. But i got to say you have a couple of fail points.
you used things that are still in the years of 2009 ex :
C4 explosive you could have gave it a diff.name such as
R2M,Flashdriver could have been an some thing else.
Windows logo like i said could have been some thing
else,who knows maybe in the future there will be an system
called Adrmona who knows ? 
Over all i really liked this story though it DID have parts from
other storys BUT you know a man cant stop but copy.
I hope you would be able to release more eye catching
storys ! if i could rate this i think it would be 1,000,000 out of 10
i bet there is no one here in the site that can top your story.
Note : Nice use of game materiel !

[Archangel]

apparently you haven't read any of the other stories here

[Chomps123]

just an idea:
Maby you should make it into a comic book or something like that.
Once again, good work.

[DeathSkull]

Not sure what Arch's comment meant <<

Anyways, thank you for the positive comments. I'm not all too sure about the copying, because I only read two other stories on here during the time of my writing, so if I did copy, it wasn't intentional.

Thank you all again! I'm still re-writing this story as we speak!

-Death

[Archangel]

Not sure what Arch's comment meant <<

Anyways, thank you for the positive comments. I'm not all too sure about the copying, because I only read two other stories on here during the time of my writing, so if I did copy, it wasn't intentional.

Thank you all again! I'm still re-writing this story as we speak!

-Death

actually, my apologies, i didn't realise it was this thread. i thought it was that story with the fruitcake using all the emoticons.

[Jedarus]

Not sure what Arch's comment meant <<

Anyways, thank you for the positive comments. I'm not all too sure about the copying, because I only read two other stories on here during the time of my writing, so if I did copy, it wasn't intentional.

Thank you all again! I'm still re-writing this story as we speak!

-Death

actually, my apologies, i didn't realise it was this thread. i thought it was that story with the fruitcake using all the emoticons.

Lolwut, which story with all the emoticons and fruitcakes?

[CreatureofHell]

Not sure what Arch's comment meant <<

Anyways, thank you for the positive comments. I'm not all too sure about the copying, because I only read two other stories on here during the time of my writing, so if I did copy, it wasn't intentional.

Thank you all again! I'm still re-writing this story as we speak!

-Death

actually, my apologies, i didn't realise it was this thread. i thought it was that story with the fruitcake using all the emoticons.

Lolwut, which story with all the emoticons and fruitcakes?

The really annoying and stupid one

[Chomps123]

Not sure what Arch's comment meant <<

Anyways, thank you for the positive comments. I'm not all too sure about the copying, because I only read two other stories on here during the time of my writing, so if I did copy, it wasn't intentional.

Thank you all again! I'm still re-writing this story as we speak!

-Death

actually, my apologies, i didn't realise it was this thread. i thought it was that story with the fruitcake using all the emoticons.

Lolwut, which story with all the emoticons and fruitcakes?

The really annoying and stupid one

Off topic guys.

[Jedarus]

My bad, I now know it's the Tyrant story

[randomdude]

    damn i <3 this story! i just finished reading parts 1-6 and i am really impressed!
i think you should make a video/ flash animation of this someday
i dont know much flash animators personally, but newgrounds.com has a lot of good animators
if you are interested in the flash animation idea, post something on the newgrounds forums, i'm pretty sure someone will contact you
try to get help from as many animators as you can.
maybe one of the best animators in newgrounds is "Krinkels". He is known from his "Madness Combat" series,i think he could help you a bit with animating, weaponry and weapon sounds
but thats enough of newgrounds for now...
keep your story coming! (i dont know yet have you finished it allready, cuz i have read only parts 1-6     )
another idea about your story is to make a comic about it

i have enjoyed reading this wonderfull masterpiece of work!

:: Offtopic questions ::
where are you from?
age?
experience of this game ( = how long have you played this game)?

:: even more offtopic ::
supriced not asking your name and gender?

[DeathSkull]

   damn i <3 this story! i just finished reading parts 1-6 and i am really impressed!
i think you should make a video/ flash animation of this someday
i dont know much flash animators personally, but newgrounds.com has a lot of good animators
if you are interested in the flash animation idea, post something on the newgrounds forums, i'm pretty sure someone will contact you
try to get help from as many animators as you can.
maybe one of the best animators in newgrounds is "Krinkels". He is known from his "Madness Combat" series,i think he could help you a bit with animating, weaponry and weapon sounds
but thats enough of newgrounds for now...
keep your story coming! (i dont know yet have you finished it allready, cuz i have read only parts 1-6     )
another idea about your story is to make a comic about it

i have enjoyed reading this wonderfull masterpiece of work!

:: Offtopic questions ::
where are you from?
age?
experience of this game ( = how long have you played this game)?

:: even more offtopic ::
supriced not asking your name and gender?

Haha, thank you for the enthusiastic response. Yes, the story in this iteration is currently finished. I'm currently doing a rewrite of it, the first chapter (redone) is a few posts up. And yes, I'm definitely considering making the story into alternate forms of media (movie/comic/etc).

As for where I'm from, USA, and I'm 18. I've been playing Tremulous since summer 2006. I love this game!

[Pazuzu]

See if you can get a deal for turning this into a movie. I know I'd watch it.

[Prophet]

Great story, read the whole thing, you really have a talent in writing.

EDIT:  I realize this thread is a bit old, but I felt that it need not fall into the depths of second pages, it really is a great read and I feel it should be sticked or something.

[Minimum]

Maybe they should make a game based off this. It would be fun.

HOLD UP

Anyway, brilliant story. You know how to use suspense well.

[DeathSkull]

Thank you both

As I've stated earlier, I really enjoyed writing this. I would of had a sequel released by now but I decided to revise this story for novelization, which I hope to finish early next year. Thank you again for reading and the great comments, and for helping keep this thread alive so others can read it also. 

-Death

[N.U.K.E.]

Really? Thats great! I would buy it

[Repatition]

This will make a great novel! and will help promote tremulous!

[ReapDaWrapper]

You better be Note-padding this. 

[agkokogrubby]

holy crap. I've just read this entire story up to its current chapter and I can safely say that this is the best piece of fiction (fiction? orly?) I have ever read in my entire life. In my opinion, this surpasses Harry Potter, Christopher Paolini, Christie Golden, Eric Nylund, and it comes just short of Lord of the Rings. But, I'm sure if you got an editor and a bunch of *beta testers* it even might surpass Tolkien. Hope you publish this so I can buy a million copies of it! Good luck

[DeathSkull]

December 1st, 2512

To: Mike_LaRoche

From: Sergeant J.M.

Subject: RE: How's it going?!

Hey Mike!

   It's been a few years since I heard from you! I'm doing good... still single. Don't worry, I've had a few offers . Now's not really the time to look at settling down, especially in my line of work. You're a smart kid; you got out when you could. Before the damn government could put a rope around your neck. Let me say that if you're even thinking about coming back now, don't! It's really going to hell... yes, even worse than the events set in motion in the Xeres system.

   Well, ok, that's stretching it a bit. It's getting bad, that's true, but if those damn rumors would stop spreading and scaring the people... then maybe we can avoid another full scale casualty. I'm sure you've heard them already: whisperings about rogue groups attacking worlds on the edge of space, people taken as slaves, the men put to work and the women raped.  No word on what happens to the children... and I don't want to know. It's all a lie anyways... or so I hope.

   Enough of this; let's discuss brighter subjects. I'm glad to hear that the wife is doing great. And you have a little boy? Congratz, my old friend. I was never one for kids, but I often wonder if that's really how I am or something instilled in me because of the work I do. Maybe someday, when I get out of this hellhole...

   I'm surprised you mentioned that name, Mike. No one talks about him anymore... we're not really supposed to. My commander at the old base ordered the “subjects” (that's what they call them, seriously) to be terminated after Karith went down (another mess, ugh). All except the one they called 13... the unlucky number. Unlucky for us, maybe. Word has it he killed a couple soldiers escaping. As for the main man himself... I haven't heard anything since he left a few years ago. Could be anywhere; he wiped all records of himself (we've been looking for him, that's all I'll say) and I can't find his wife either. Probably the best damn soldier I ever fought beside. I hope when (I don't think there's a question of  if) the shit hits the fan we won't need him.

   Heh... what am I saying? We will need him.

   Shit, I need to get going, Mike. Thanks for sending an email my way, and I hope things continue to go well for you. Get some pics soon! That way I can be envious of the place you live at .

                                       Talk to you later,
                                             John McNabb

(P.S.: Keep your ear to the ground, Mike. If you hear or see anything about our old friend, send word my way. Will be much appreciated...)

[CreatureofHell]

Hooray for more!  <3

[A Spork]

WARNING WARNING!

EXCESSIVE PRO-NESS IN A SINGLE THREAD!!!




Seriously awesome.

[khalsa]

OMG DRAMA. (more please) ((just in the story))

[N.U.K.E.]

Excuse my stupidity but... who's mike? I forgot about him.
And is this some sort of a prequel to a sequel?