Let me start off by stating that I love the Dretch. As it is now, the (GPP) Dretch is my second favorite class to play, right behind Mara. And Aliens are always my first choice. So, yeah...
I heart

Now, my idea...
Basically what I’m suggesting is that we ( ...and by “we" I mean you guys because I can’t code for shit) completely rework the Dretch into a centipede-like arachnid, an “arachnapide” if you will, with a longer narrow body shaped into a perpetual S-curve. The S-curve of the body will swivel automatically as the player crawls, meaning that the head (being controlled by the player's mouse) will move independently of the the body's automated gyration.
Here’s a rough concept of a Dretchipede-model's movements while crawling in a straight line over a distance of, say, 2 feet...

So, if a player is on the floor and crawling forward, it’s head will continue to point forward while it’s body will go through a full reverse of it’s “S” shape for every 1-2 feet that the Dretch travels in that direction. The curved body should not turn if the head is turned simply to look, but only if the player has started forward in that new direction. Then, the “S” curve animation will have to somehow accommodate for the change in direction (not to mention all of the OTHER shit you’ll have to animate for this thing to work...)
Here’s how I see the scale of a Dretchipede, compared to the current Dretch...

I know this is a HUGE concept that would take more work than I could even fathom and, in that respect, I truly wish I could help. But I’ve also thought long and hard ( ::chuckle:: ) about this one concept and I think it might actually be worth considering...
Reasons:
1.|
Many players have complained that the new balance between (GPP) Dretch and naked rifle is unfair and lets the Humans control the early minutes of most rounds.
I know that, in some respects, this aspect is important because Aliens are extremely fast and would otherwise definitely control almost every round (depending on the size of a map) from the beginning if not. But, still, there might be some room for improvement here.
2.|
A skilled Dretch against an equally-skilled Human is still almost always at a (slight) disadvantage. This has a lot to do with proximity; specifically how quickly a Dretch can reach and maintain an attacking-range while not being seen versus how quickly a Dretch can kill a naked human.
Now if a Dretch could remain undetected after the first bite, this wouldn’t be an issue, but it can’t. Once the Dretch’s first bite is landed, his cover is pretty much always blown unless the terrain is greatly to the Dretch’s advantage. And, for that matter, the Dretch probably SHOULD make a noise after biting or else risk becoming a bit OP in the sneak-attack department.
My point being, because of how easy it is for a rifle to land the requisite number of shots on a Dretch already within biting-range, a player controlling a Dretch has to be practically un-shootable to survive the wrath of even one naked rifle. The same can’t be said for one rifle against even 2 or 3 Dretches, depending on how well the human can aim/dance.
And there's the rub: Because, in simple physical terms, it's usually a lot easier to evade while retreating than it is the evade while closing. It comes down to the attacker's target shrinking in size versus the attacker's target growing in size.
3.|
As a regular builder, I’ve developed the habit of clocking any other (unauthorized) Grangers that happen to spawn in my base; ESPECIALLY those who immediately run out into the fray. As most of you might remember, I’m not a very big fan of Battle Grangers because they only ensure that the Human team will have an endless amount of kills and that the player in question will have only wasted their time trying to learn how to fight with the one alien class that ISN’T designed for the battlefield.
Now, there are numerous causes for attempting to “battle-grange”, but I think I’ve finally traced it’s main source: Tremulous, like most truly fun games, has a bit of a learning curve and the Dretch is a large part of this curve. Basically, here’s a noob battle-granger’s train of thought...
“Oh, COOL! Aliens! I wanna play as ALIENS! ...Melee attacks? Oh, because they can’t use guns. They’re just like... bugs... Okay, gonna try ‘em out, anyway... ::CLICK:: Okay, some words. Not reading those... ::CLICK:: 25 health, alright. I’m quick and small and... I’m dead?! ALREADY? ...Fuck a Dretch. What’s the other option? ::CLICK::50 health? NOW WE’RE TALKIN’! Okay, left-click builds and right-click... ATTACKS! Yes! That last stupid alien didnt even HAVE an attack. What was that about? Maybe those words next to it’s name explained it or... I’m fucking DEAD?! I didn’t even get CLOSE to that guy! Okay, let’s try this again... 25hp alien with no attack or 50hp alien WITH an attack? Easy choice...”
Hopefully, the new player will realize the error of their ways after a few rounds of being gang-raped and they’ll go back and actually read about the game and discover that the Dretch can wall-walk and attacks automatically and that to try and fight with a Granger is just plain stupid.
The problem is, it seems that there’s always another noob battle-granger to take their place. Why this is such a problem (as you Devs well know because you designed the game; I’m just trying to be thorough...) is that it causes the entire Alien team to suffer. Every time someone feeds a Granger (which is worth more than a Dretch) to the Human team, it brings them one kill closer to a stage increase and an unfair advantage over the round (*unfair in the sense that it’s not rightly earned...)
So how do we solve this problem? Should we treat every new player like a child and make a big “NOT A COMBAT CLASS, DO NOT TRY TO FIGHT WITH THIS ALIEN” window pop-up every time a player selects the Granger?
The fact is, we can post all the text we want. Some people just don’t like to read.
Now, I usually hate pandering to the dumbest demographic, but I found myself thinking...
“What if there was a way to somehow make the Dretch more desirable to noobs while also making it easier for them to play? Is there a way to make the Aliens’ starting class more user-friendly?”
Though, I‘m pretty sure the answer is...
“Yes, but probably not without throwing off the entire balance of a game that has already gone through many variation to become as well-balanced as it is.” Meaning you can’t just give the Dretch more HP or make it faster, etc.
But what if they’re was a way to make the Dretch harder to hit WITHOUT making it faster or smaller?
...Which brings us to my “centipede-shaped body” idea and its automated S-curve pattern of movement. I think it could help make the Dretch harder to hit CONSISTENTLY (meaning with each individual shot contained within a burst) without the need to make it faster. This would also make the Dretch slightly harder to kill, technically speaking, without needing to increase it’s HP count. On the other hand, if a noob-Dretch charges straight at a Human, it will still be easy to pump enough bullets into the Dretch to kill it before it can even take a bite.
There’s always going to be pro-humans who are just plain sick at predicting Dretch-movements, but at least the S-curve will give them a second variable to have to compensate for. It also gives the Dretch an added level of movement that doesn’t require the player to pull off endless variations of disorienting wall-crawl ballet. Not only could it allow a Dretch to last a moment or two longer in the fray, but it might also make them a bit harder to hit from a distance. Which helps against those unlagged-hall-camping Mass-Driving whores! ::cough:: Sorry...
Anyway, that’s all I have. I hope the feedback was, at the very least, helpful. I know you guys are doing this for free, so I’m not expecting any miracles. I just love the game and this was an idea I had put a lot of thought into, so thanks for reading.