Ah, education has taught us all so much, this a is a collection of snippets Ive found all over the web, and I want you to enjoy them now.
Enjoy, and keep the inquisitiveness alive!!!
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MMMM.... Equations.....
Something about the Quantum Field Theory.
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A few I did earlier:
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Some peoples ideas for "the seaside"
• This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)
• Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)
• If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.
(Wayne age 7)
• I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)
• A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head.
(Billy age
•
• My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)
• When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)
• I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen age 6)
• I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)
• Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)
• My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish
(Laura age 5)
• When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)
• When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun.
(Lauren age 7)
• A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)
• When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors (Valerie age 6)
• Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age
• On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.
(Julie age 6)
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Remember this and you'll no longer be at a loss when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt!"
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? Well thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can respond in an intellectual way.
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Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of Needeep N Schitt, Inc. They had one son Jack.
In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Despite her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years Jack and Noe Schitt divorce.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name, she became known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son with rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the local newspaper announced the Schitt Happens nupitals. The Schitt - Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Horse.
Bull Schitt left home to tour the world and recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.
Yours sincerely,
Crock O Schitt.
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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This is actually an essay written by a college applicant when applying to colleges/universities. The author of this essay now attends NYU.
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IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
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I hope you had the stanmina to trawl through those, because theyre worth it!
If anyone else has any good 'uns, please do post them!
