How to pick up ladies.

[Kaine]

I understand most of you children play enough videogames for it to be considered a full-time job (40 hours a week), so I have decided to help you.  In this thread I will post links to various websites and guides that I feel appropriately explain how to treat a lady.  Once you know how to properly treat a lady, you can then enter the social realm, and are well on your way to "picking up women."

#1) Be vulnerable.
#2) Learn how to communicate with women.
#3) Compliment her on her looks.
#4) Learn to accept gifts in the spirit they are given.
#5) Now you can brag to your friends!

[Hendrich]

Hmm, either I'm going to learn how to pick up ladies, or I'm going to get RICK-ROLLED! DON'T DO IT! D:

eVe is the spawn of the Tyrant!  <-- eVe = eVe-il "DUNT U GIT ITZ???"

[Kaine]

It's really not a Rick Roll.  I didn't even mix a Rick roll into the middle.  All 5 are for real.

[Overdose]

You forgot a step:

If you're learning how to pick up women on the internet you have already failed. Please try again.

[Kaine]

Good call.  So kiddies, remember to only try these things on girls you know IRL.

[mooseberry]

thx gr8 advice

[Hendrich]

Wow, no rickroll. Your a pervert eVe. 

Lols, just kidding. But seriously, why??? Get our groove to the smooth to the dotty move?

Yea, I drank a bit too much tonight. Had a party, lost some money, got beaten up, met cute girl, had a drinking contest, I laughed, I cried, bla bla bla. I think I'll use these tips next time when I'm at a party. Thnx eVe, you devilish pervert. 

[Steely Ann]

words

For maximum effect, you should practice your lines on a unsuspecting relative beforehand.  And viddy-tape it so you can review it later and see how you can improve.

[Kaine]

Then please, for the love of all that is unnatural and wrong, post it here for our viewing pleasure.

[Paradox]

Here is a simper way to do so.

• Find girl
• Wrap hands around waist
• Lift over head

[Steely Ann]

Then please, for the love of all that is unnatural and wrong, post it here for our viewing pleasure.

Indeed.  Then we can offer constructive criticism, right?   

[KamikOzzy]

Here is a simper way to do so.

• Find girl
• Wrap hands around waist
• Lift over head

This thread's winrar^

However, the girls that eVe can get might be too heavy for this method.

..sorry >.>

[Darth Futuza]

Here is a simper way to do so.

• Find girl
• Wrap hands around waist
• Lift over head

Pedophile!

[+ OPTIMUS +]

pick girls from the interwebz. its rather easy and leads to many interesting experiences and wise consequences. one of them (the most important) is: don't pick up girls from interwebz.

[Lava Croft]

Here is a simper way to do so.

• Find girl
• Wrap hands around waist
• Lift over head

Pedophile!

Never had a petite woman before, newt?

[Kaleo]

Quote from clan forums.

Nah, Flamey's old school - he picks up girls the old fashioned way:


Flamey: Hi there
Girl: ...
Flamey: ...
Flamey: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

[Lava Croft]

The best way to pick up a girl is to carry around 100ml of GHB with you, waiting for the right moment to secretly pour a healthy amount of the clear liquid in her Pina Colada. Do make sure you have led her out of the club before she passes out.

[Kaleo]

Nah, dude. Chloroforms old-school. It's mad.

[Darth Futuza]

Never had a petite woman before, newt?

Nah, its just a fun word to scream...in text fashion.

[techhead]

Here are a couple winning pickup-lines courtesy of "A Beautiful Mind"

"I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me, but could we assume that I said all that? I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex?"

"I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. Now, I'm doing that. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible."

Schizophrenics make odd bedfellows, do they not?

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

...retards...

[Kaleo]

...retards...

Says you.

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

...retards...

Says you.

Observant, but I think everyone realised I said it in my post.
But thanks for verifying that I said it though! 

[Dante]

I believe you're familiar with the gamer termage: "NO U"?

Kaleo just hit you with a more refined real world version.

[mooseberry]

I believe you are taking things too literally and missed the byplay.

[Kaleo]

...retards...

Elaborate.

There. Is that a little more clear?

[Paradox]

Get back on topic.

[Kaine]

Paradox, as the thread creator, I'm not offended by the hijack.  I just wanted to post those links, any discussion beyond that, as long as it's lighthearted, is fine with me.  Topic doesn't have to be related.

And as long as things stay friendly, I'd like to request this stay unlocked, so all the spammers can get their jollies somewhere.  (Here.)

[Lava Croft]

Boy, another person that felt the need to change his name.

[Kaine]

I'd like to request this stay unlocked, so all the spammers can get their jollies somewhere.  (Here.)

And Lava's already basking in it.  See?  This thread will do great things, I assure you.