We are born into an unfathomable existence, on a tiny patch of space called earth that is itself a speck of dust in the galaxy that is a speck of dust in the infinite universe, and not only that, but during your entire lifetspan, you will die on an even smaller patch of space on THAT Earth.
Anyone else thinks human being are just limited and death is "unfair"? Religious people, what's the point of "Heaven", "Hell" or "Brahman" or any other mind-concoctions? That's the one thing I never really got. I don't want to be reincarnated or reunite with any Brahman, i don't want to live a blissful existence that is in itself meaningless (isn't it bound to get repetitive as well or the catch-22 is that i'll experience incessant eternal orgasms and ergo will not have time to consider the meaninglessness of it all?), I have no desire to commit to a life of hedonism here cause that is boring as well.
So... since life is an inexplicable mystery and a torture chamber, how cruel is that we are alive? The more I think of it, the more I realize that religion does not bring meaning to life but rather, further consolidates the nihilistic meaninglessness of it all!, did it ever happen, that a guy hates Atheism as much as he hates Religion, but reaches that conclusion since in the face of one-sideness and daily monotony of life, there is nothing better to do?
In short terms, how is it possible for someone like me (don't know if there are any others) to live if two of the biggest alternatives in the world (Atheism, Theism and everything inbetween) are not satisfactory?
So if I don't belong to any category, then whats the point of waking up every morning? From that point on, it seems as suicide is the best way to cork out your brain, no responsibility, no depression, no aspirations, worries or anything else, isn't that the perfect drug?
How vain it all is. Every human category. Love, Sex, Art, etc etc. People getting fatter, people getting leaner, hunks & jocks vs pickup artists and the usual joes..., movies, learning... working... why? who asked that "something" to bring me and countless others who wondered about the same question to to that existence? Why did I have to be coaxed? Why not just give it all to us at the outset, at least in that case the meaninglessness could be worth something until you're dead? Why does medicine exist, why do our bodies fail, why is there anything at all, and that magical "anything" created a world that is so far away from being "fun"? Am I ever gonna get the answer to that or should I, as had been advised here countless times, "wizen up" and self-indulge in the mystery? but what would be the point of that?
Do u understand what i'm trying to say here? Without any appeal to ignorance or pity, why is it that no matter how good you try to think the world is, how optimistic everything is and how purposeful the world is, how everything is going according to plan, how you're gonna end up being successful, with a wonderful career and a great family, how "good" people are and how much happiness you wish everyone would be showered with - the thoughts you try to nail into your brain, the mental masturbation of having to wake up everyday to the same "existence" seem like such an unenticing prospect? (no matter how well-of and high-rolling you are)
Is suicide really the only option here? Why are the suicide rates so high pretty much in every developed country (Russia, Japan, US, etc)if everyone else gets such an immense kick out of life?
p.s
oh and btw, depression has nothing to do with me writing this post right now. that has been my opinion for a long time, but i've desperately grappled with myself trying to conceal it. Can't do that anymore. Could we please discuss this issue refraining from medical advices or any of the other trite banalities that i've already googled the net for? Philosophically speaking, what's the other emergency exists other than Religion or lack of it?:no:
I don't know why I'm posting this..
