Girls Q&A

[Meisseli]

Since Firstinaction is quote "Back in action" with "a date with a girl", "a can of mountain dew" and "time too chill back" and OhaiReapd can quote "get a date whenever I want" and just "recently got a gf" and therefore is "not on 24/7 anymore" I have, inspired by them, made this thread in dedication of the young, valiant warriors that they are.

In this thread you can ask various questions relating to relationships like "How to kiss", "How to tell your crush that you like her?", "What is sex?" or questions linked to one's body and self-esteem like "When do my testes start to descend?" or "What is the average penis size?" Do not be timid, every question you got is a good one and we will be happy to answer them!

I especially await Firstinaction and OhaiReapd to be using this thread extensively for it was created for you guys! Happy enquiring!

[superspirality]

wat is a girl

[Teapot]

A girl is a mythical creature that has caused much debate. Some say they have shiny, coloured claws and bright blue eyes while others say they have jet black hair and a dark, piercing glare. To "date" one of said creatures is to be bent to its will. This results in an act called "sucking face" which a man (or "boyfriend") must do to appease the female. Female is a word often meaning girl. Other frequently used words include "woman", "bitch" and "whore" (though great care must be taken to avoid using the last two in front of females to avoid losing genitals).

A little girl (recently spawned female) likes new shoes, party dresses, small animals, first grade, noisemakers, being jealous of the girl next door, dolls, make-believe, dancing lessons, ice cream, kitchens, making sandwiches, coloring books, make-up, cans of water, going visiting, tea parties, and one boy.

However, despite the debate, it is generally agreed upon that there are no girls on the internet (See rule 30). This has not deterred many from pretending to be one of them.

To quote one of the great philosophers of our age, "She can muss up your home, your hair, and your dignity—spend your money, your time, and your patience." -- Anon
I would like to credit Aerolis and deadmeat for their contributions to this article. Especially Aerolis, whose long-running experience pretending to have no penis was of great value.

Hope that clears things up,
Teapot

[superspirality]

wat is a teapot

[CreatureofHell]

How does one go about determining who is a girl and who isn't? 

[Tremulant]

How does one go about determining who is a girl and who isn't? 

Check for lumps on the upper area of the torso.

[Survivor]

How does one go about determining who is a girl and who isn't? 

Check for lumps on the upper area of the torso.

Not foolproof, you can still encounter flatchests and man-titties.

[Conzul]

How does one go about determining who is a girl and who isn't? 

Check for lumps on the upper area of the torso.

Not foolproof, you can still encounter flatchests and man-titties.

This should help with the inevitable confusion...

[OhaiReapd]

Women are made to cook and clean for us. When asking them out on a date, be sure to slap and ridicule them. The worse you make them feel, the better. When you first meet them, grab their breasts. It shows you have dominance over them. A firm slap on the ass shows affection. When you are slapped, they are responding to the stimuli that you have given them, and shows that they are interested. This is the time for vaginal (or anal) intercourse. Private is the normal situation, but in public shows that you are confident and more dominant than the other males.

[c4]

What ive found is

THERE ARE NO WIMIN ON THE INTERWEBZ

If you talk about your girlfriend avidly, you definitely don't have one.

If you're CATAHA, then you're definitely a god-woman hybrid, and therefore not a WIMIN IN OUR INTERWEBZ

[Aelita]

dude, she has a dong.

[Samurai.mac]

Where's my sandwich? Why isn't my shirt ironed?

[superspirality]

Where's my sandwich? Why isn't my shirt ironed?

Erm,

Code Select Expand

$ sudo make-me-a-sandwich

[jez]

sorry comes back with an error:

Code Select Expand


sudo: make-me-a-sandwich: command not found


Doesn't seem to have sammich installed.

So I wrote the following. Doesn't even need root privileges to run!

Code Select Expand


#include <stdio.h>

int main(void) {
printf("Here's your goddamn sandwich. \n");
return 0;
}


[Tremulant]

much against my better judgement i thought i should help you out a little...

Code Select Expand


wget http://woman.sf.net/src/woman.tar.bz2
tar xjvf woman.tar.bz2
cd woman
./configure  --swfilling=cheese --enable-mustard
make sandwich


[c4]

much against my better judgement i thought i should help you out a little...

Code Select Expand


wget http://woman.sf.net/src/woman.tar.bz2
tar xjvf woman.tar.bz2
cd woman
./configure  --swfilling=cheese --enable-mustard
make sandwich


+1

dude, she has a dong.

Did I ever say she didn't?

[CreatureofHell]

dude, she has a dong.

wat is this dong you speak of? is it some sort of dog? 

[c4]

dude, she has a dong.

wat is this dong you speak of? is it some sort of dog? 

No, it's a catt.  DUHHH