The Guide To Peeing Safely

[n00b pl0x]

The Guide To Peeing Safely

By: Anthony

Table Of Contents

1.0 Table of Contents
1.1 Introduction
1.2 Urinal Strategy
1.3 Toilet Strategy (Standing)
1.4 Toilet Strategy (Sitting)
1.5 Final Words
1.6 Credits
1.7 Request for Sticky
1.8 Copyright Information[/list]

1.1 Introduction
Many people, including myself, have a all-too-common problem. This problem is a certain peeing disorder that prevents these afflicted peoples from doing their business properly. Many also say that this problem is severely minor, as it has a trivial fix. However, I would venture to say that people who do not know the fix would not think of it as "minor." So by now, many of you are probably thinking, "What is this problem so many people are forced to deal with every day?"

Peeingous Toohardium.

1.2 Urinal Strategy
This is the main reason I wrote this guide. I, myself, suffered many wet pants from this foe. After many many failed strategies, I finally found the ones I use today.

The Dry


This method is relatively straightforward. You aim right for one of the holes in the middle area of the rubber mat at the bottom of the urinal, and pee straight through. If your stream is narrow enough, and your hand is steady enough, you can have a successful trip to the bathroom with almost 0% splashback. I was surprised at the fact that my entire stream went through the hole the first time I did it, because the holes looked relatively small.

Unfortunately, some of you might not have a stream small enough for this strategy to work. If you are one of these people, I am sorry. There are only a few things I will not do in life, and one of them is testing peeing strategies with another man's penis.

The Wet
Sometimes you will find that there is a lot of water in the center, and that it actually covers up the filter. (or it just isn't there) When this happens, pee straight into the water. Normally, this is a bad idea (like with a toilet) but, since the surface area of the water is so small, you can fill it with bubbles almost instantly. Your pee will start to hit the bubbles, and they will cushion its fall a bit, before it replenishes the bubble supply from below.

1.3 Toilet Strategy (Standing)
At this point many of you might be wondering why I included both wet and dry urinals under the same bulletpoint on the table of contents. Well, I am here to answer your questions. When switching from dry to wet, your aim doesnt really differentiate much, with the exception of having to be a bit more percise with the dry, you're aiming in the exact same place. However, The differences between standing at a toilet and peeing, and sitting at a toilet and peeing are huge. You're not only aiming at a different side of the toilet, in one instance youre on the toilet.



Aim for the X. You want to aim at the back center of the bowl, a little under the lip.

1.4 Toilet Strategy (Sitting)
Another reason I seperated the two was, well, I really have no idea how to pee sitting to make sure you dont splash. If I had to guess, I would say to aim right above the water...but I really don't know.

1.5 Final Words
Please post whatever you like in this thread, as long as it agrees with forum rules. I don't care if it has nothing to do with my guide, as far as I'm concerned thats a free bump until my guide gets stickied. :wink: Anyways, I hope I was able to help someone with this guide, whether it was revealing a trick to a sufferer, or just opening the eyes of someone else.

1.6 Credits
Myself
Google (for the pics seen in this post, and the © symbol stolen from their homepage)
Risujin (for the all around idea of prettying the post)
Tea (for the idea to do [ list ] for the table of contents)

If you would like to add something and/or suggest something new, please post it and I will look it over and, if you're lucky, I'll even add it.

1.7 Request for Sticky
I request this post be stickied because it can truely help people. In its current form, it has the means to help, but if it is stickied, it will attract more attention for people to help me improve upon it, and help the lives of others. I ask that you think of these people, the afflicted and the ignorant, and think of how you can change their lives by stickying this topic.

1.8 Copyright Information

©2007 Anthony a.k.a. n00b pl0x
All rights reserved.

[TinMan]

Thanks, this guide was very helpful, I've been dry now! Don't forget to shake it!

[n00b pl0x]

Glad I could be of service to you.

[Basilisco]

You forgot the crouching technique for either tall men or low toilets

[Kaleo]

@pl0x: Why?

[n00b pl0x]

@pl0x: Why?

To open people's eyes. Not just the people who have been splashing themselves for who knows how long, but also for the people who make fun of others who have this problem.

and to the other person/persons who have made suggestions:

what? :oops:

[St. Anger]

This is probably the most constructive post noob pl0x has made, ever.
(That says a lot huh)

Now we just need Evlesoa to make one for the ladies.

[Rabbitt]

Ok n00b great guide but you also forgot that morning hard on pee.
I mean you have got to get the angle right or youll end up spraying the towel rack.

[Steely Ann]

Nice guide.  Now whenever newbies ask, you all can just send 'em to this handy thread.

[A_Total_noob]

Now we just need Evlesoa to make one for the ladies.

Wahahahaha



I actually found this guide immensly useful.
I now no longer completely wet the walls while in the toilet !

[tehOen]

you should electrify yourself for that

[Steely Ann]

you should electrify yourself for that

I'm suddenly reminded of when my cousin from Tennessee lost a bet that you can pee on an electric fence and not get zapped, the poor guy.  Lost a good chunk of his dignity from hopping around like a bunny on crack along with his ten bucks.

Anyway, this thread has so much potential.  I love it so far.

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

Bravo pl0x Bravo!

Encore!
One question, how do you take a dumo without splashing could water up your ass?

[HamStar]

Aim for the sides and not the water?

[Grape]

Mkay

[Somethief]

This one is awesome!  

STICKY!

[A_Total_noob]

Bravo pl0x Bravo!

Encore!
One question, how do you take a dumo without splashing could water up your ass?

Hah hah hah hah hah.

Wow, good grief.

[Rabbitt]

Ninja Dude,
That's a dilemma men will just have to live with i think.

That or drain the water out before you drop your load.

[Somethief]

Btw, why aint this post in community -> strategies & tactics? thats where it belongs

[n00b pl0x]

Btw, why aint this post in community -> strategies & tactics? thats where it belongs

i was under the impression that the strategies & tactics forum was just for stategies for tremulous, not strategies for peeing.

but thanks for the positive feedback, especially somethief <3 :oops:

@anger: its also more useful than all the posts youve ever made combined, what with all your "LOL LOOK AT MY 200 KILLZ" pictures you post. :roll:

[Somethief]

Btw, why aint this post in community -> strategies & tactics? thats where it belongs

i was under the impression that the strategies & tactics forum was just for stategies for tremulous, not strategies for peeing.

It's under community and peeing strategy is important one, you dont want to wet yourself during the game  :wink:

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

But if you get the sides of the toilet bowl, or drain the toilet, then itll look like Boy racers have been drift racing round your toilet bowl all day.

Please solve this defecation dilemma pl0x!

[HamStar]

Use antigrav?
Or just take a dump out of the window, a la medieval times

[A_Total_noob]

Use antigrav?
Or just take a dump out of the window, a la medieval times

Hohohohohoho  

This thread is most amusing.

Hah hah hah - im laughing at the thought of using antigrav  

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

But then it'll either just hang there, or just go to the bowl anyway, what with the enormous explosive forces produuced by bowl movement.

[HamStar]

Put a bit of cling film under the seat, very loose so when you do your business, it just...stays there until you like...ewwww....

[Somethief]

Put a bit of cling film under the seat, very loose so when you do your business, it just...stays there until you like...ewwww....

right.

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

Thats what I did when I was younger.
Too people at school.
Once.
It doesnt work unless you gouge out the intended victims eyes and chop off his hands, if they have a habit off stuffing their hands down the toilet.

[Rabbitt]

Look guys go buy clear jello/gelatin whatever you call it and pour it into a toilet.
Stir and let it set up then place a small amount of water on top of it so it looks as if theres a bowl of water.

Someone pisses and voila a fountain of piss in the face/clothes.

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

Lol, itll looks weird if you shi in it.