Really appreciate your comments, thank you!
I've replaced the human (yes that human was part of the model) since it's so much trouble to animate him without using the original skeleton. So here's an entirely static update to the model.
The only trouble is I've gone over the vert-count by adding so many weapons. I'd really like to keep them in, so if someone could let me know how tags work and whether I can use them to piece this thing together to abuse the vert-limit, I'd appreciate it.